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expected one from him. Not in a million years.
    “I love spending time with you. You’re smart, funny, easy-going and … you’re beautiful.”
    He thinks I’m beautiful? Heat returns to my face at the thought. But what does all this mean for our friendship? I have to be careful.
    “What now … I mean …” I sigh. “How does this affect us?” I motion my hand between our two bodies.
    “I guess that depends,” Jon says warily, “on what you want. Do you think you could have feelings for me?”
    My heart kicks in my chest, perhaps in protest, and I search my brain for an answer. Imaginary crickets chirp inside my skull. I’ve got nothing. Of all my sexy daydreams, I never had one of Jon. That’s gotta say something.
    “I don’t know,” I whisper. My head falls back, and I stare at the ceiling. Jon gently puts a hand between my shoulder blades. “I’m just surprised,” I say, not able to look him in the eye.
    “I know,” Jon says, his tone as warm and supportive as it’s always been. “I thought sending the flowers might have tipped you off. I wanted you to at least think about it before I said something.”
    I shrug. I’ve never had any romantic thoughts about the two of us, but if I tell him that, I know it will hurt him. So I keep it to myself. I value our friendship too much.
    “You’re my best friend,” I whisper.
    “I know,” Jon says, his voice strained, “and this is why what I have to say next is so hard.”
    “What?” I turn towards him, my mouth forming a hard line. What other bomb can he drop on me?
    “My feelings for you are so strong, that if I can’t be with you … I just can’t do this anymore.”
    “You mean our friendship?” I yell, and tears start to fall. A multitude of emotions bubble inside of me, building like I’m a volcano about to erupt.
    He nods. “I know I won’t be able to carry on being just friends. I want more … I can’t live a lie.”
    The tightness in my chest leaves me struggling to breathe. The walls seem to close in on me. I need air. I need to get out of here. Now .
    I quickly slip on my shoes whilst Jon sits frozen, watching me. I hurry into the kitchen, not daring to turn back. I don’t want to cry in front of him. I know he’s seen it before, but this time he can’t. This time, I’m crying because of him, and I never thought he was capable of that.
    “Wait … where are you going?” Jon calls after me.
    I swipe my bag and scarf off the bench top, and rush to the front door. He’s already waiting there with his back against it.
    “Don’t leave like this, Eevie. Please. You know I hate seeing you upset.”
    My eyes shift frantically as I stare into the eyes of my once best friend—who I could very well lose forever. Hot tears stream down my face, my chest expanding which each painful breath. I’ve been through too much, been strong in so many ways, but I’ve just taken a blow I didn’t see coming. I didn’t see that my best friend ‘thinks’ he’s in love with me. That I could lose him.
    There’s nowhere to go as we face off in the small entry to his apartment. I lean on the wall behind me, and cover my eyes as the tears flow.
    “I don’t wanna lose you,” my voice croaks in between sobs.
    He moves forward, and wraps his arms around my shoulders, my head and arms supported by his chest. He holds me tight as I cry, breathing in his crisp aftershave. I never noticed he smelt so good. There’s probably a lot of things about him I’ve missed .
    “Please don’t cry,” he begs. He tilts my head up, and brushes my hair from my face. His nervous eyes search mine.
    I need to process this, and I know there’ll be more tears … but not here. I need to be alone.
    I have no idea how long we stand like this, our eyes locked, but my tears subside. My face is wet with sorrow, and then … his lips are on mine.
    He holds me close, one hand to my lower back, the other behind my head, and he kisses me with such urgency and passion. The