Southern Fried Rat and Other Gruesome Tales Read Online Free PDF Page B

had been strung just a bit too high and instead of catching Buddy in the chest, it got him in the neck, and the impact sliced his head right off.
    The police assumed that the head had been thrown into the creek and washed away. It was never found.
     
    This tale and others like it are often used to explain "spook lights"—strange and unexplainable lights that are seen on some local hill or bridge, The light is said to be the headlight of the ghost motorcycle, which must return again and again to the scene of the accident.

How Embarrassing!
    On the morning of his fortieth birthday, Stan Crane arose feeling pretty depressed. As comedian Jack Benny once observed, thirty-nine is a funny age, forty isn't. It's all downhill from here, thought Stan.
    As he washed and shaved he cheered up a bit. His wife and kids would be waiting for him downstairs. They would probably have a birthday present for him and start singing "Happy Birthday," and that would make him feel much better about being forty.
    When Stan got downstairs, his family barely acknowledged his presence. His wife was reading her newspaper. His kids were wolfing down their food because they were late for school as usual. Nobody said a word to him. They've all forgotten, thought Stan. He left for work that morning feeling more depressed than ever because his family took him for granted and barely noticed him anymore. They just don't care, he thought.
    At work things were different. Stan's pretty young secretary greeted him with a big smile and a cheery, "Happy Birthday, boss." She brought him coffee and a doughnut, and was exceptionally friendly all morning. That really made Stan feel better.
    As noon approached, the secretary suggested that the two of them might have lunch together to celebrate his birthday. Stan jumped at the suggestion, instead of going to the usual place for a sandwich, Stan decided that they should go to a really nice restaurant and have a good lunch. "After all, it is my birthday," he said.
    So at noon Stan locked up the office, and he and his secretary went to one of the fanciest restaurants in town. They had a couple of drinks before eating, and some wine with their food. When lunch was over, Stan was feeling very mellow.
    As Stan and his secretary were driving back to the office, she said that since they had to go past her apartment building, they might stop off there for another drink. Once again Stan jumped at the suggestion.
    Up in the apartment she fixed a couple of drinks, and then she excused herself, saying that she wanted to slip into something more comfortable. When she was out of the room Stan thought, By God, I'm not so old after all. I've still got the old sex appeal. He began taking off his clothes.
    Then he heard his secretary's voice from behind the bedroom door. "Are you ready?"
    "You bet I am!" shouted Stan.
    The bedroom door was flung open, and there stood the secretary holding a big birthday cake. Behind her were Stan's wife and children. "Surprise, surprisei" they all yelled. It sure was a surprise, because by that time Stan was wearing nothing but his socks.
    —————
    Mrs. Lowery was in the basement doing the wash. Her hair was up in rollers, and the overhead pipes were leaking. Looking around for something to protect her hair, she spotted her son's football helmet and put it on.
    As she was putting the clothes in the machine, she noticed that the housedress she was wearing was badly soiled. Impulsively she took it off and put it in with the other dirty clothes.
    There she stood wearing nothing but a football helmet when she heard someone cough. She turned around to see a man staring at her. It was the plumber her husband had called to fix the leaky pipes.
    "I hope your team wins, lady," said the plumber.
    —————
    David had become engaged to a wonderful girl whom he met in college. He didn't know her family, but from what she told him they were pretty straitlaced people. Naturally, when he was invited to dinner