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her feet out to the side, then swings her body around the pole. She laps the pole with strong legs as she balances upside down, waving her arms in a sultry manner. She unclenches her thighs slightly and now she is slipping. Fast.
    Before I know it, I am out of my seat. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it is because I think she is going to fall and hurt herself. Maybe it is because I really want to see her up close. Maybe, because I’m an idiot who’s drank too many Motherfuckers. But when I am met with those big, beautiful blue eyes, widening with panic, I realize something.
    I know her.
    And my heart stops…and starts beating again.
     

CHAPTER FOUR
     
    I am enjoying myself up onstage far more than I usually do. Something about the atmosphere tonight is really exciting me to a new pitch. Anticipation has been running through my veins ever since I spoke to Connor earlier and he’d said he’d be coming by. He always comes to my performances and we always hang out afterwards. Even after so long, he and I are still best friends. So why the hell was I so fucking excited?
    When I ran away , after that whole tragedy at home, we had lost contact for years, but this past month we reunited when he did some renovations for Totem. I’d wanted to ask him about his brother, Collin, that first day and every time after that, but I held out. If Collin was in San Fran, he would have brought him by, and that made me sad because, no matter how many years flew by, I still loved Collin.
    Tonight, I can’t help but think of our last encounter as I dance. This has gotten me through a lot of my routines in the past. It’s like I disappear and I am right back in his room. Yes, I seduced him. I had wanted him so badly that I threw myself at him, young as I was.
    Luckily, he took the bait, namely me, and he was my first. Your only , an annoying voice reminds me. Yeah, whatever.
    So I hadn’t slept with anyone since that first time. It’s not like I was saving myself for him…much.
    I tried to have other relationships, but their hair was never the right color. They didn’t have the same color eyes. Their lips felt different on mine. Always something stupid. It came down to the fact that those guys just weren’t Collin. But I needed to get over it.
    Just as Samara pulls away from my lips and unmasks me, I get back on the pole and swing my body into an icon split, transitioning into a death lay and quickly into a nose breaker drop. I love the fast-pace pole tricks that I do. It keeps the patrons on the edge of their seats and keeps them eating out of my palm. I’m sliding down the pole fast and it gives me a rush.
    Hearing commotion and seeing a man race toward me distracts me momentarily. I don’t worry because I know the guys will tackle him before he even gets to approach me. Just before I reach the floor, I tighten my legs and stop – as I always do. The man leaps onto the stage and “catches” me and I stare up at him in panic as I realize who it is.
    Collin.
    Collin Danes.
    In a second, Collin is being hauled off the stage. I am still upside down, panic ratcheting my heartbeat. I’m frozen. It feels like ages with me frozen upside down, but I still see Collin struggling in the grips of the bouncers and, what I assume is his friends, fighting to get him back. Collin still has his eyes on me and I can’t tear my gaze away from him.
    I hear myself screaming, “Wait!” and the whole club falls silent. Even the music stops.
    I untangle myself from the pole and run over to where Big Jesse, Andre, and Vince have him. Connor is there with guilty eyes trained away from me and I want to punch him for not telling me that Collin would be here. So I do. One sucker punch to the gut, knocking the wind out of him on a pained groan.
    Stopping inches away from the man who made me a woman, I take him in. I thought he was gorgeous before, but now I am speechless. He looks like, who can I liken him to? Shit, I’m coming up empty. A model? A porn star?