Social Lives Read Online Free PDF

wrong with her life. And if she found nothing, she would think about what might be wrong with her.
    She took a breath and opened her purse. There was a hidden compartment with a zipper, which she opened slowly, methodically. She pulled out the contents—a round case with the multicolored pills that were keeping her body from becoming pregnant, fooling her husband. She flipped it open and checked the ones already taken. Then she popped out the one scheduled for this day. It was a tiny little pill, but the lie that it implicitly held was undeniable, and as she dropped it on her tongue and began to swallow it down, she could feel it sticking in her throat.

 
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FOUR

UNFINISHED BUSINESS
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    â€œA RE YOU STILL THERE ?”
    Amanda Jamison was on the line waiting for her answer, but Caitlin was busy making the adjustments. They were gone, out of sight. The golf cart with her father and younger siblings had pulled into the garage, and she was, mercifully, alone in the yard. In an instant, the taps were turned back on and the stream of new feelings was again flowing inside her, washing away the anger, guilt, and shame. All at once, the wicked girl, the ungrateful daughter, the poor role model, receded with the sound of the garage door closing, and of her friend’s voice.
    â€œYeah. I’m here.”
    And she was, fully. Caitlin Barlow was back from her alternate personality, the rude, cynical, unfeeling monster that lived inside the mansion she was now gazing at from the swing that hung from a giant oak. It was cold. But she didn’t care. With a bare foot dangling from the wooden seat, she breathed in the smell of the decaying leaves and settled back into herself.
    â€œSo . . . you didn’t answer me. Did you . . . you know . . .
finish the business
?” The anticipation oozed from Amanda’s voice, and it made Caitlin smile. In spite of the trouble she’d had to weather, this confirmed it. She was now firmly entrenched within their elite circle of friends.
    â€œIt was so close, I swear. I mean, if Mr. Carter hadn’t come in, it was
over
.”
    â€œ
Really?
” Amanda said, begging for details. “How could you tell?”
    â€œYou know—from the stuff you told me.”
    â€œHard, harder, then . . .”
    â€œThe grand finale . . .”
    â€œExactly. Only no finale for Kyle. Went home with a boner. Poor baby.” Amanda’s tone was mocking, though they both knew Kyle Conrad was immune to their ridicule.
    Caitlin smiled again, her mind now filled with the contours of the boy’s face, his broad shoulders, and the smell of his cologne, which she had managed to capture on her not-so-subtle descent to her knees. Thinking of how awkward she’d been, how unsure—downright terrified, if she were being honest—made her shiver deep inside her body.
    â€œYeah, poor baby,” she managed to say through the devastating embarrassment she was now reliving.
    â€œWell . . . don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ll get another chance, and he’s usually really quick. So how long are you grounded?”
    There was a pause, a long hesitation as Caitlin connected the dots.
Of course, idiot
, she thought to herself.
You’re not the only one.
    â€œTwo weekends, including this one.”
    â€œFuck.”
    â€œI know.” Caitlin managed a response, though her mind was stuck somewhere between Kyle’s smile as he stroked her hair, and the image of her new best friend getting him off in some hidden corner of their world.
    â€œSucks for you. Listen, I gotta get ready. . . .”
    â€œYeah. No problem. Text me when you get back?”
    â€œCourse I will. Love ya,” Amanda said. Then she was gone.
    When Caitlin flipped the phone shut and saw the time, a heavy weight filled her body, and with it came the churning. It was a part of her now, as much as anything. As much