So Vile a Sin Read Online Free PDF

three hours.’
    She spent a few minutes picking up the tray and the soft bowls and placing them with the bendy spoon in the right place for the micro-transmat to whisk them away. The doctor said nothing until she was back in her bagchair. ‘What else did you talk about?’ asked the doctor.
    ‘He asked me about… well you know.’
    ‘The landing on Iphigenia?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘You still find it difficult to talk about?’
    ‘Yes. But it’s easier now, since yesterday.’
    ‘That’s good. I’m glad we’re making progress.’
    ‘He asked me why I thought I was here. I told him I’d gone psychotic.’
    ‘Psychotic,’ said the doctor, ‘is not a word we use in modem psychology.’
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    ‘Of course I’m psychotic. I did things to Mbuya and Alexis and… the others. Terrible things. What else would you call it?’
    ‘A dysfunctional delusional episode.’
    A bright rush of blood across the main screen. The ripping silk linen sound the knife made. Mbuya screaming. Mei Feng singing a song about toy dogs.
    ‘Would you like to talk about something else?’ asked the doctor.
    ‘I’d rather. What would a functional delusional episode be like?’
    ‘One that didn’t interfere with your life or those of anybody else.’
    ‘Would you treat them?’
    ‘Only if they wanted me to.’
    ‘How many people are like that? In the Empire I mean.’
    ‘Human or alien?’
    ‘I said people.’
    ‘Six million, seven hundred and six thousand, nine hundred and ninety-six – less than zero point zero one per cent of the population.’
    ‘Goddess,’ she said. ‘How do they survive?’
    ‘Many of them use their episodes as the basis of a career in the arts and sciences. Certain forms of delusional episode are associated with the more esoteric branches of physics, the ones dealing with time for example.’
    ‘That’s what he said.’
    ‘The other doctor?’
    She nodded. ‘He said that there were possibilities that the human mind couldn’t cope with. That probing the true nature of the universe was like learning about electricity by sticking your finger in a wall socket. He wasn’t real, you know, this doctor.’
    ‘Was he a simularity projection like me?’
    ‘Maybe real isn’t the word. Maybe I should have said alien . He sat there, in your chair, but I could tell he was restless – after a couple of minutes he started to pace up and down, up and down.
    He asked me about my nightmares. He was very interested in my nightmares.’
    ‘Did you have an episode while he was there?’
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    ‘I can’t remember. I may have done. You know I can never remember afterwards.’
    ‘Did you tell him about your nightmares?’
    ‘Yes. I told him about the one where I’m married with children.
    Have I told you about that one?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘I’m on a colony world somewhere. I’ve left the navy and I’m married and we are expecting our first child. I am in bed and…
    my wife brings me breakfast because I’m the one carrying the child. Nothing much happens. We just chat about things that need doing to the house, how work is going. I’m a surveyor – I remember that. I’m pretty sure that the landing on Iphigenia never happened. That’s it really, very domestic.’
    ‘Who were you married to?’
    Mei Feng.
    ‘I’m sorry,’ said the doctor. ‘I’m afraid I upset you again.’
    ‘How long was it this time?’
    ‘You were restrained for three minutes and twenty-two seconds
    – the episodes are becoming much shorter. Do you remember anything about it?’
    ‘No. Was I telling you about my dream?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘What do you think?’
    ‘I am not here to interpret your dreams – only you can do that.
    What do you think your dreams represent?’
    ‘I think they are alternative lives.’
    ‘Alternatives to what?’
    ‘Being locked up here. Some of the lives are better than others, but they’re all things that might have happened.’
    ‘Is that what the other doctor said?’
    ‘Yes. He also said that having