So Much to Learn Read Online Free PDF Page B

whole thing from diving completely off the cliff of
morality."
    Why did I get
the feeling that he wasn't completely convinced about the merit of
my idea? Still, this second rule seemed sensible so I nodded in
agreement.
    "Rule number 3,
no mind-altering substances during lessons."
    "Yeah, 'cos you
see me injecting heroin on a daily basis," I snorted. "Be serious,
Jack."
    "That
description includes alcohol," he said simply and my eyes
widened.
    OK, that
changed things. Yes, I didn’t like to drink at parties, but the
very occasional make-out sessions with Brad had been helped with a
bit of beer. Oh God, it sounded awful put like that, but I'm trying
to be truthful here. I don't mean I had to get completely sloshed
for him to come near me, but a little outside help to relax was
always appreciated.
    "Have you got
that then? There's already enough people in the world who use
alcohol as a precursor to sex, but you're not going to be one of
them, understood?"
    Man, but he was
taking this rule thing seriously!
    "Yes sir,
anything else?" I asked clasping my hands together in my lap and
looking up at him innocently.
    "We don't tell
anyone," he replied quickly and I nodded fervently.
    "Well that's a
given. Anyway, it's not like people would believe us anyway."
    "Yeah well,
let's not test that theory, alright?" Jack suddenly sat down on the
couch again staring fixedly down at his hands. His last words had
been no more than a mutter. I could tell there was something else
he wanted to say, but he couldn't find the words to express
himself.
    For once in my
life I sat quietly and waited for him to pull the words
together.
    "One other
thing…" he finally began, and I nodded encouragingly even though I
was a little apprehensive about what aspect of the situation had
been just too uncomfortable for him to be able to spit out.
    "You know how
people who…um…play more interesting, ah, sexual games have a safe
word?" He asked, stuttering and coughing his way through the
sentence.
    "What, like if
they get scared or whatever they say a random word which means
whatever is going on should stop?" I nodded, hoping this wasn't
part of his planning for the 'lessons'. "Yep, I'm with you. Some
word like…sheep!"
    Jack sent me a
little lopsided smile at the last bit, but became serious again
almost immediately, one of his distinguishing personality traits.
"Yes, like sheep, except I'll take anything. Any sign that you're
not comfortable, any look, movement, or word and everything stops.
I won't hurt you, Tally, I’m not going to do that."
    Have I
mentioned that I absolutely adore Jack? Well I do.
    "I know you
won't hurt me, that's why I came to you for help." There was a
pause as I delighted in the true loveliness of my brother's best
mate, but then I moved on. "Right, so, sheep it is then," I said
cheerily, glad that that seemed to be the end of his list of rules.
"So just a recap then, no disobedience, no dating, no drugs, no
telling anyone and no you hurting me. I think I can deal with all
that."
    I bounced off
the couch preparing to go into the bathroom for a shower, the
second essential step in my morning routine after breakfast. Jack
stood up as well, however, and called me back before I high-tailed
it into the bathroom.
    As I turned
around, I saw that he had his right hand stuck out towards me.
"Shake on the rules," he said calmly.
    Dratted boy had
probably picked up on my hesitation over the first rule, darn and
blast it! I reluctantly took his hand and shook it quickly. As was
my usual habit I went to let go quickly, but his grip on my hand
tightened, not so much that I wouldn't be able to pull away if I
struggled, but enough to let me know that he had control of the
situation. I looked up at him in surprise and was taken aback by
the force of his gaze on me. His blue eyes, so rarely shown to me
fully, firmly caught my gaze. It was the first time in a long while
that Jack seemed fully present, his eyes neither hooded nor
slightly averted as