Snowblind Read Online Free PDF Page B

me, over."
    The men waited.
    Nothing came but the empty sound of static.

11.
    Kris stood at the top of the fifty-foot slope, her skis teetering at the edge. Below her beckoned an imagined abyss. Her heart pounded. "I... I can't do this!" she cried.
    Lorraine's voice came thundering up from somewhere below. "Can't means won't means chickenshit. You know you can do it. You've downhilled a thousand times."
    "When I could see! I can't do it this way. I'll fall!"
    "Which is exactly how you learn. It's no sweat, girl. The nets'll catch you if the railing doesn't. Worst thing can happen is you make a fool of yourself. No shame in that. Shame is if you won't even try."
    "Please," Kris pleaded. "Don't make me do it. I can't!"
    "Listen to me, young lady. You're replaying a bad picture in your head. Something that happened to you. Am I right?"
    "No."
    Lorraine said nothing, then sang teasingly, "You're ly-ing ."
    In a flash of memory, Kris was plunging through the air toward a mirror of frozen ice. As quickly as it came, the image disappeared, and she found herself gripping the guardrail with both hands.
    "How do you know that?" she asked.
    "'Cause I got the same problem, honey. Now I want you to throw that picture away, understand? Just get rid of it. Right now. Okay? Are you following me, Kris?"
    She again saw herself free-falling and felt a shiver.
    "Kris?"
    "Yes..."
    "Concentrate. I want you to picture yourself skiing down this slope just like you've done a thousand times on Dome Mountain. Remember how it feels, Kris, to be relaxed, in control. You got that picture?"
    Kris trembled, her voice barely audible. "Relaxed. Skiing blind. Right. Sure, I get that."
    "Say what?"
    "Yeah."
    "Yes," said Lorraine.
    "Yes."
    "Say it louder!"
    "Yes!" she shouted and pushed off the edge.
    The skis swished beneath her. She felt a sudden, exhilarating rush of speed. She was plunging through the dark, out of control; instinctively, she pulled up, straightened her knees, leaned back. She caught an edge and abruptly tumbled, crashing to the carpet and sliding across the slope. She rolled right under the padded railing, slipped over the edge and flew into the safety net.
    Tangled in the ropes with her skis twisted beneath her, she lay still for a moment, her head in a spin. Then she felt someone's hand on her ankle, disentangling her ski. She heard Lorraine's voice.
    "You okay?"
    Kris rubbed her sore hip. "No thanks to you. I told you I couldn't do it."
    Lorraine ignored her. "That's one," she said, walking away. "When you get to a hundred falls, let me know. Now get those buns of steel up there again." Lorraine headed across the huge room toward the exit.
    Kris didn't move. "Do you hate everybody, or is it just me?" She heard Lorraine stop walking, turn.
    "I don't hate you, Kris. Nobody hates you... 'cept maybe yourself." She turned away and continued across the room. "You're getting your only private lesson today, you better make use of it." She opened the door. "I'll be back in half an hour. You do some thinking about what you're doing here."
    Kris heard the door shut. She lay back in the net, angry and exhausted. "What am I doing here?"
    *  *  *
    The half hour felt like an eternity.
    "That's enough!" Kris shouted. She was lying tangled in the net again. Lorraine was gone and Kris was alone — and getting nowhere. Not once had she made it to the bottom. And suddenly she didn't care if she did. She didn't care if she ever wore skis again. What is the point?
    I'm
blind
.
    She lay still in the net, alone in the cavernous room, the only sound the distant laughter of the children out in the snow.
    I've left their world. I live in the dark. Mom will never understand, she'll never really know. But I know. I know I'll never see a human face again as long as I live. Never. The sun, the trees, the blue sky, the mountains. They're gone. Gone forever. There's nothing...
    She lay motionless in the net, alone with the sound of her breathing and the blackness of