corporate cafeteria to see what looked good. It was all presented well but I lacked the appetite. Still, I managed to choke down a sub and a coke. I don’t drink soda often and the bubbles burned my tongue.
“Vanessa!” cried my coworker, Sasha. I made every effort to smile and she sat down beside me. “It’s so weird seeing you here,” she said.
“I know, I don’t usually eat in the cafeteria.” She nodded, wide-eyed, and laughed.
“I heard a rumor! Are you ready for it?” she teased. I moved my head up and down in approval.
“The CEO is apparently really impressed with your work!” She smiled from ear to ear and looked as if she was about to shoot off into outer space.
“What do you mean?” I said with my mouth half full. “He’s never even around. Who did you hear this from?”
“Our boss told me! He wanted to tell you but said you looked very into coding.”
Our boss misunderstood me. I wasn’t even aware of coding this morning. This news, however, was grounding me a little more.
“Anyway,” she continued, “I’d keep an eye out on your e-mail. You know, just in case he says something directly!”
I didn’t consider e-mail to be direct, but I knew what she meant. This conversation reminded me I hadn’t checked that at all yet today. We both finished our lunch and then headed to our desks.
I was happy at the thought of impressing the CEO, but I wasn’t sure I believed it. I’m sure he was too busy to pay attention to programmers and their code. To prove Sasha wrong, I opened my e-mail inbox and searched through the piles of new messages from coworkers and spam.
There was one that stood out from the rest. One that popped off the screen. One from Ethan Sloane, CEO. My heart stopped. My hands shook.
I nervously clicked the mouse and opened it. It read:
“Vanessa Banks,
Glad to have you as a part of the team. You’re doing excellent work. Keep it up.
Ethan”
The breath left my lungs. I felt guilty for not working harder that morning. I just landed this incredible position and I was letting some asshole at a sex party cloud my thinking. Besides, I considered, I have a loving husband. That was it. That was the last time I was going to let the events of this past weekend keep me away from work and my husband.
That afternoon I worked smart and fast. Our project had a tight deadline but I knew I could get it done well. We were going to make a big impression this time, but that’s what my company was known for.
---
The day was long and I was happy to be heading home. The rain ceased long enough for me to park the car in the driveway. I stood outside under the clouds and studied our home.
It was modest but charming. Yellow illuminated the living room. I could see the back of Jared’s head sitting on the sofa, probably watching one of our favorite crime TV shows. Everything was comfortable and simple, and I was grateful for every goddamned thing.
After grabbing a quick bite to eat and finishing my show with Jared, I decided to jump into the bath. I had already washed away the bull’s scent that morning, but I needed one more soothing end to the evening.
I let the water run so hot that steam fogged everything from the mirror to the facet handles. I was grateful that I couldn’t see my reflection. I didn’t think I was unattractive, but I needed a break from thinking about it at all. I felt my breasts heave up and down as I sighed. It was a tiring but exciting day.
Suddenly, the room was filled with a red light from taillights just outside our tiny window. It wasn’t big enough that anyone could see in so we didn’t bother covering it with curtains.
Like waking from a dream, or perhaps the reverse, I was back in the red room with the bull, and my heart sank. How could I lose touch so
George Biro and Jim Leavesley