talked about some trip Ethan was planning for him. âBut thatâs a long way off,â he said as they stopped near the side entrance. âI couldnât leave you now.â He kissed Anne lightly on her forehead, then took her chin in his hand. âYou wonât talk about this to anybody. You understand that?â He was holding her chin too tightly; his thumbnail dug into her skin. âYou do understand that?â She nodded. âThatâs my girl,â he said, and let go of her chin. âGet inside, little one; Iâll go around to the front. Iâll see you tomorrow night.â
The next day people came and went below her second-floor bedroom windows as if everything were perfectly normal. The gardeners gossiped in Spanish as they pruned bushes and mowed the lawn; the sweet smell of newly cut grass floated up to Anneâs window. The mailman handed letters and magazines to one of the maids. Marian walked to the rose garden and put down her long wicker basket, pulled on flowered cotton gloves, adjusted her wide-brimmed straw hat, and carefully examined each flower before deciding which she would cut and place delicately in the basket. A nanny pushed Keith in his stroller, and Marian waved at them with her pruning shears as they went by.
There were no thoughts in Anneâs head at all. She was empty. She had tried to confide in Amy, but she could not do it. No matter how hard she tried, Amy would not come to life, and somehow Anne knew that Amy was gone, and would never come back. She sat without moving as the hours passed, watching the life below. Fred came home and gave Marian a little peck on her cheek while she gazed off in the distance. A little later, she knocked on Anneâs door. âMay I come in?â
âNo,â said Anne. Her room was at the far end of the hall, behind a heavy door, she had to raise her voice to be heard.
âWell, of course, dear, if youâd rather I didnât.â She, too, raised her voice. âItâs time to go, Anne; Nina likes everybody to be on time. And we donât want to be late for your grandfatherâs birthday party, do we?â
âIâm not going,â Anne replied, still staring outside.
âOf course weâll give you a few minutes to wash up, if youâre worried about looking your best.â
âIâm not going,â Anne said again.
âOr to change your clothes. Itâs nice that we all look our best; it makes it more festive. And Grandpa does appreciate it.â
Anne was silent.
âWell,â Marian said. Her voice came calmly through the closed door; Marian never got upset. âOf course if youâre not feeling well, you certainly shouldnât go out. Iâll explain to everyone, and Iâm sure Grandpa will be just as pleased with your birthday wishes tomorrow. I recommend that you stay in your room. Iâll have dinner sent up. Soup. Itâs good for almost anything. Is there anything else youâd like?â
Somebody to talk to. She was crying.
âAnne?â
âNo.â
âGet to bed early, then. Youâll feel much better in the morning.â
The house was silent. The sun slanted across the empty yard, and the shadows of trees and fences lengthened until they lay like black bars as far as Anne could see. A little later the sun was gone, and everything was blue-gray, very still, waiting. And then the door opened and Vince was there.
âGod, Iâve missed you.â He pulled Anne up from the window seat. âThought about you all day.â He propelled her to the bed. âDinner was endless; Ethan was in a mood to talk.â He sat Anne on the edge of the bed. âGet yourself undressed, little girl; I wonât do it for you. Thatâs the first thing you have to learn.â
Anne looked at him, unmoving, her eyes wide.
Vince let out a short, explosive breath. âChrist.â He sat beside her and put his arms