Six Steps to a Girl Read Online Free PDF

After a few moments he shook his head sorrowfully. “You really like her, don’t you?”
    The way he looked at me, it was like he could see right inside my head.
    “Face it, man,” Ryan said. “At the moment you don’t stand a chance. Eve Ripley’s total Premiership. Top of the Premiership, in fact. And she’s already got a boyfriend.”
    “Yeah,” I muttered. “Dunno what she sees in him.”
    “Well, Ben’s a football star.” Ryan pursed his lips, thoughtfully. “Plus he’s older than she is, he’s tall and good-looking and all her friends fancy him.”
    “Right.” I looked down at the carpet.
    “I saw you with that short brunette at your party an’ I gotta tell you, your technique totally sucks. But I reckon with a bit of training you’d be fine. So, stop making out you can do all this alone, and spill.”
    There was a long pause.
    In spite of my irritation there was something about Ryan I liked. He was so direct and he was offering to help me, apparently just because he felt sorry for me. But there was still no way I was going to humiliate myself by telling him the truth about what I suspected was, compared to his, a pretty limited set of experiences.
    Ryan sighed again. “OK, let me guess,” he said. “The longest you’ve ever been out with someone is three weeks. You’ve got off with, say, between twenty and thirty girls – none of them Premiership. And you’ve never gone the whole way. Am I right?”
    I stared at him. “Way off,” I lied.
    “Yeah, right.” Ryan grinned. “This is gonna work, man. I’ve got a good feeling about it.”
    He went to the door and called Tones and Numbers back in. “You don’t mind, do you?” he said. “They could probably both do with a refresher, not that Numbers would ever admit it.”
    I winced. If anyone at school found out I’d been taking dating tips in some kind of girly group session . . .
    “I don’t know,” I said.
    “Will you chill?” Ryan sounded exasperated. “Don’t you think that if either of them were going to say anything to anyone, they’d have already told on each other?”
    I shrugged uneasily, as Numbers and Tones came in and sat down.
    “Step One,” Ryan said. “Look good – Feel good.”
    I stared at him. “What?”
    “The first thing you need is confidence,” Ryan said. “And the easiest part of confidence is making the most of how you look. Tell me, what did you do to get ready for the party?”
    I told him.
    Tones gave a low chuckle.
    “You should’ve ironed the shirt,” Ryan said. “You looked a mess. And not in a good way.”
    “What? No one’s gonna notice if my shirt’s all neat and stuff.”
    “Maybe not, but they’ll notice if you look like an old tramp. And you need a haircut too. Something shorter. It’s all gotta look like you take a pride in your appearance, but you aren’t obsessed with it. Also, more washing and clean clothes and less deodorant. You don’t want to overdo anything – especially deodorant and hair gel. But washing’s cool.”
    “I do wash.” I glared at him.
    “Sure,” Ryan said. “I’m just saying. To be honest I don’t think you’ve got any problems. Is there anything you’d like to change about your appearance? Like being taller, for instance?”
    I thought about Eve’s hulking boyfriend. “Maybe.” I shrugged.
    Numbers snorted. “Join the club.”
    “You’re taller than she is, aren’t you?” Ryan said.
    I nodded. I was, by a few centimetres. But Ben was a whole head and a half taller than me.
    “Well, then,” Ryan went on. “You don’t need to worry. And even if you weren’t taller there are ways round it. Ask Numbers.”
    Numbers grinned. “Ry told me to only ever chat birds up sitting down. Works like a dream. Once they’ve experienced the Numbers magic touch they don’t care how tall I am.”
    I smiled weakly at him.
    “OK. Step Two,” Ryan said. “Noticing. Get her to notice you. Then make sure she knows you’ve noticed