I wouldnât need you to do it. But since youâve failed to get it up yet again, itâs the least you can do.â
John Merrivale began to do what was asked of him. He hated oral sex. It felt disgusting and wrong. But the days had long passed when he was allowed to follow his own desires. His sex life had become a series of nightly humiliations. Weekends were the worst. Caroline expected a morning performance on Saturdays, and sometimes even a Sunday matinee. It was incredible to John how a woman who so patently despised him could still have such a rampant sex drive. But Caroline seemed to get off on degrading him, bending him to her whim.
Feeling her writhe with pleasure against his tongue, John fought the urge to gag. Sometimes he fantasized about escape. I could go to the office one day and never come home. I could drug her, then strangle her in her sleep. But he knew he would never have the balls to do it. That was the worstpart of his miserable marriage. His wife was right about him: He was weak. He was a coward.
In the beginning, when they first met, John had hoped that he might draw strength from Carolineâs dominant personality. That her confidence and ambition would compensate for his shyness. For a few blissful months, they had. But it wasnât long before his wifeâs true nature emerged. Carolineâs ambition was not a positive force, like Lenny Brooksteinâs. It was a black hole, an envy-fueled vortex that sucked the life out of any human being who came near it. By the time John Merrivale realized what a monster heâd married, it was too late. If he divorced her, she would expose him to the world as a sexual cripple. That would be more humiliation than even John could bear.
Thankfully it took only a couple minutes for Caroline to reach orgasm. As soon as she had her pleasure, she got up and marched into the shower, leaving John to strip the bed and put on fresh sheets. There was no need for him to perform such a menial task. The Merrivales had a small army of maids and housekeepers on permanent call at their palatial town home. But Caroline insisted he do it. Once, when she considered his hospital corners to be less than perfect, sheâd smashed a glass perfume bottle into his face. John had needed sixteen stitches, and still bore the scar on his left cheek. He told Lenny heâd been mugged, which as he saw it, was not far from the truth.
If it hadnât been for Lenny Brookstein, John Merrivale would have killed himself years ago. Lennyâs friendship, his warm, easy manner, his readiness with a joke, even when business was going badly, was the most important, treasured thing in John Merrivaleâs life. He lived for the office and his work at Quorum, not because of the money or the power, but because he wanted to make Lenny proud. Lenny Brookstein was the one and only person who had ever believed in John Merrivale. Awkward and physically unattractive, with red hair and pale, gangly limbs, John had never been popular at school. He had no brothers and sisters growing up with whom to share his troubles, or toast his modest successes. Even his parents were disappointed in him. They never said anything, of course. They didnât have to. John could feel it just by walking into a room.
At his wedding to Caroline, he overheard his mother talking to one of his aunts. âOf course, Fred and I are absolutely delighted. We neverthought that John would marry such a bright, attractive girl. To be perfectly honest, weâd rather given up hope of his marrying at all. I mean, letâs face it, heâs a sweet boy but heâs hardly Cary Grant!â
The fact that his own wife despised him hurt John, but it did not surprise him. People had despised him all his life. It was Lenny Brooksteinâs friendship, the huge trust Lenny had placed in John, that was the great surprise of Johnâs life. He owed Lenny Brookstein everything.
Of course, Caroline