Shiver Read Online Free PDF Page B

hallway. I see her back as soon as I walk over the threshold and into the room. She's wearing the sweater I had on last night. It dips below her ass. Her legs are bare, her hair a mess around her shoulders.
    "Noah." Her voice is soft.
    I doubt that she heard me approaching. I sense when she's in a room as much as she senses when I'm close. We feel each other's energy. We feed off of it.
    "I wanted to show you this last night." I walk up behind her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. "This is why I keep coming back."
    She nods. The movement slight as I rest my chin on the top of her head. "Your mom was so beautiful. I had no idea. You look a lot like her."
    Ben looks more like my mom than I do. He was gifted with her long lashes. His jawline has the same curve as hers. I hated him for that after she died. I despised the fact that he could look in the mirror whenever he wanted and see parts of her reflected back at him. I always had to pull out the folded picture I kept in my wallet when I wanted to see my mom's face.
    "When was that one taken?" She holds a half empty glass of water in her hand as she gestures towards a framed picture on an easel near the window. "Is that you or Ben with your back to the camera?"
    "That's Ben." I hug her. "We were twelve. She was teaching him about roses. She was always teaching us about roses."
    "She loved roses." The words aren't a question. She's repeating the fact to herself as if she's going to store it somewhere away inside of her. "What about that one?"
    I assume she's talking about the one next to it. "My parents were going to a charity dinner the night I took that. I tried at least ten times to get them both to smile at the same time."
    "Neither of them is smiling," she points out.
    "I know." I chuckle faintly. "They were arguing about what time the event started. I don't know why. They were never on time for anything."
    "That's the day you graduated." Her head tilts to the right. "She was sick then."
    It was the only picture that had brought tears to my eyes when I found it in a box in the closet of the spare bedroom here.  My brother and I are both dressed in our caps and gowns. I'm smiling brightly as if I don't have a fucking care in the world. Ben is barely able to grin. My mom is sitting between us in a wheelchair. She's frail and thin. The oxygen hose in her nose an everlasting reminder of the day she died.
    I'd stared at that picture for hours after I found it. It encapsulated everything that had torn my brother and me apart for years. I'd blamed him for her death, certain that he'd been purposefully negligent when he failed to hook up her oxygen properly the day she died. He made a mistake and when I first saw this picture I realized that her will to live had already disappeared.
    The joy in her eyes wasn't there anymore. The color of her skin was ashen and the infection that had brought her to death's door would have pushed her over the threshold if she wouldn’t have died the day she did. My mother knew her time was limited. I see that when I look at the way she's clinging to our hands in the picture. She held on so she could watch us graduate from high school.
    "She looks peaceful." Her left hand jumps up to my forearm. "I think she was happy for you and Ben. She was happy that you were on the cusp of your futures."
    "My mom was a lot like you." It's something I've always wanted to say but the words have never made it onto my tongue, and past my lips. Each time I've been ready to say it, I've stopped myself.  I always thought it was because I'd break down remembering what a great mother I had. Now I know I've been holding the words inside because it means I'm looking to the future, instead of clinging to the past.
    Her breathing slows as she absorbs what I just said. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. All I want is to be a good mom, and a good wife."
    "You're a fucking amazing mom, Alexa." I kiss the top of her head. "You're the perfect wife. You're my