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Sam.  Those weeks of watching and waiting, praying for some word of Sam, and coming to accept the reality were almost as bad as wait ing for death.  Susanna didn’t stop Sam from going on missions for the Committee, but then Susanna had never gone through what Abbie had.  Susanna had been safe at the British fort, nursing an American rebel back to health under the assumption that he was a British corporal.  She’d never experienced the agony that Abbie felt during those weeks. 
    It had taken Abbie months to finally stop waking in the night, convinced that Sam was dead, and that she hadn’t really escaped at all; death just waiting for her as soon as the sun came up.  And although she’d learned to live with the fear, she’d never feel entirely safe again, not as long as the war continued. 
    Her father had never again suggested that she undertake any kind of assignment, especially not since she was now a mother, but he still wanted to utilize Finn, and Abbie was terrified every time he left home, believing he would never come back.  Her father told her that her fears were irrational, but Abbie knew several women who’d lost their husband s, and she was sure many more would before this conflict with England was finally resolved. 
    Savannah was controlled by the British, and Finn would be walking into terrible danger.  He wasn’t in uniform, and no one knew him, not even the contact he was to meet with, but that didn’t mean that something couldn’t go wrong — terribly wrong.  The thought of losing Finn was even worse than the thought of her own death.  At least if she were dead, she wouldn’t be conscious of her situation; wouldn’t have to live with the terrible aching loss every single day, her mind constantly replaying images of them together while he was alive.
    How was i t possible to love another person so much that you would rather die than live without them? Abbie pondered as she washed Diana’s face and hands with cool water from the spring.  Diana managed to grab a stone and toss it into the water, splashing Abbie’s face and bringing her to her senses.  She pulled the little girl close and kissed the top of her dark, curly head, needing to feel that bond that tethered her with an invisible chain.
    She had to let Finn go, had to have faith.  If she kept him at home, he would grow to resent her, and feel that she was taking away his manhood.  He was a grown man, and he knew how to a ssess risk.  If he felt this was something he could do, then she had to trust his judgment.  They were fighting a war for freedom, and she couldn’t prevent Finn from taking part.  At least he’d been true to his word and hadn’t joined the army where he would be right there in the thick of it, like Jonah.  Thankfully, Jonah was still alive, but the boy who left wasn’t the man who came back.  He’d seen horrors beyond his worst imaginings, and nothing would ever bring his idealism back, or erase the images that now permanently lived in his mind. 
    Abbie sighed and picked up Diana.  She hated to do it, but she would go back and give Finn her blessing, and her love.  However, she still wasn’t ready to forgive her father, no matter how patriotic he was. He put the cause before the welfare of his children, and she supposed she respected him for that, but she still felt the pain of that choice.

June 2010
    Williamsburg, Virginia
     

Chapter 6
     
    Valerie walked out of the hospital into a hazy and stiflingly hot morning.  She stood still for a few moments, taking in the deafening noise of modern life.  She’d forgotten how loud things could be, especially on a weekday morning.  It was still early enough that people were rushing to work, and the streets were congested with rush-hour traffic, cars and buses fighting for space on the narrow street, and blaring their horns at the garbage truck that had the audacity to block half the street as the garbage men tossed bags into the back, oblivious to