Shattered: A Shade novella Read Online Free PDF

sloping lawn almost hurts my eyes, accustomed
to nothing but white-grey walls. I can’t stop watching the puffy clouds scoot
across the blue sky (the sky , fuck’s
sake – I can see the sky !).
    The
wind blows harder against our chests, making it even more difficult to climb
this hill at a decent pace. After less than a quarter mile, my lungs and legs
are shrieking.
    At
least I’m not alone.
    ‘ Auugh .’ Martin halts and bends over, clutching his stomach.
‘Quit now or I’ll boak .’
    We’ve
stopped just outside the Kibble Palace greenhouse. The closest bench is
occupied by a young mum with a toddler, and the next one over holds a trio of
elderly men with matching Jack Russell terriers.
    I
usher Martin into the greenhouse, where we collapse on a long bench near the
goldfish pool.
    ‘I
remember when exercise used to give me
energy,’ I say once I’ve caught my breath.
    ‘It
should be easier for you than me.’ Martin pats the paunch at his gut. ‘You’ve
less weight for yer legs to drag about.’
    ‘Too
little weight these days.’
    He
pants for several seconds, examining the snow-white statue of Cain to his left.
The man’s figure is bent over in spiritual agony that seems to match our
physical one. ‘So, why are ye so
thin?’ He says it like it’s not a loaded question.
    ‘I
stopped eating for a while.’
    Martin
squints at me, wiping sweat from his temple with his sleeve. ‘What made ye
start again?’
    ‘It
was—’ I try to remember but come up blank. ‘I’m not sure.’ My skin
prickles a warning to stay away from that memory. I change the subject. ‘How’re
things at home?’
    ‘Ach,
funny ye should ask. Ma told me last night that I’m to start paying rent to her
and Da.’
    ‘Rent
to your own parents? Why now?’
    ‘Hm.’
Martin scratches his ear and glances away. ‘I might’ve brought someone home one
night last week, and Ma might’ve walked in on us.’
    ‘Shit.
You think she’d be as pissed off if you’d been with a lass?’
    He
looks amused. ‘Perhaps, but there’s nae testing that
theory.’
    ‘So
this lad you brought home, is it serious with him?’
    ‘I
thought so.’ His finger traces the wrought-iron squirrel on the bench’s
armrest.   ‘But he didnae .’
    ‘Oh.
Sorry.’
    He
shrugs. ‘Anyway, I’ve looked at flats closer to my job at the pub. Figured if
I’m to pay rent, might as well have my freedom, aye? But prices on the West End
are fuckin ’ mental. It’s dead trendy now.’
    ‘Then
come live with us.’
    Martin’s
eyes widen. ‘ Naw , I couldn’t. Not wi yer da so ill.’
    ‘You’d
be good for him. You make him laugh. Besides, our house is nearer to your job.’ And I’d be that much less alone at night. ‘You can stay in the guest bedroom. My parents won’t charge you, though they’d
probably appreciate a few pounds a week for food.’
    ‘Well,
of course. I’m no a charity case.’
    ‘No,
you’re my best mate.’ I’ve a sudden need to confirm this fact. We’ve been apart
for years, and by now, one of the other lads – Niall, perhaps –
could’ve taken my place of honour . ‘I’m still your
best mate too, right?’ I feel like a seven-year-old lass for asking.
    Martin
breaks into his signature wide grin. ‘Aye. In both senses of the word.’
    A
warmth grows in my chest as I realise he means both
‘aye’, as in the Scots word for ‘yes’; and ‘aye’, as in the Scots word for
‘always’.
    Martin
slaps the bench between us. ‘’Mon. Ah know whit yer skinny wee arse needs.’
     
    *    *    *    *
     
    I’m
greeted by the smell of grease and fish and grease and potatoes and grease. One
step inside the chippy and I can almost get a full
meal by licking the air.
    We
eat fast, without speaking. It’s magnificent.
    Halfway
through the meal, I check the time on my phone again. 1.36 p.m. I send Aura a
quick I love you text, though she
won’t receive it until she goes outside for lunch. Her high school – once
my high