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coffins. Wouldn’t it be weird if he or I had made it, and someone had come up to us that day and said, Guess who’s going to end up in this box!
    No way, we would’ve said. No way that’s going to happen.
    I don’t care if I get fired, ’cause I’m leaving town. Maybe go to Reno or San Francisco. I’ve been working on my Harley, getting it all fixed up, almost like I knew this trip was coming. I’m not taking anything with me, ’cause there’s nothing to take; nothing I can’t find someplace else. Except Gabe, and now he’s gone. Oh, man, it’s so crazy. I’m standing here looking at the glass on the ground, sticking my fingers in this gashed-up tree. Too bad I’m not one of those TV preachers. I’d call out: Lord, please heal this tree! And time would go backward and the bark would jump on, and Gabe’s truck would fly down the road in reverse, all the way back to Logan’s party. It would be different this time. Gabe wouldn’t get so drunk. Neither would I. I’d trick him into giving me the keys. He’d be mad as hell when it was time to leave, but I wouldn’t care; he’d still be alive.
    If only we’d left sooner. If only we hadn’t gone. I keep going over the whole thing in my mind, trying to figure out how it couldn’t have happened, and this whole stupid thing is just something I imagined. But that broken glass keeps winking at me.

13
    Gerald McCloud
    I went downtown a while ago and looked at Gabe. They’re getting him all fixed up, with his hair combed wrong and makeup on him. He didn’t look too happy. He used to always be laughing, like life was some big comedy show.
    Looks like the joke’s on you, little brother.
    Seemed funny to see him lying there, helpless. With not even the strength to raise his head. Who knows what those faggots have been doing to him. I cornered fatso Donny and said, “Keep your hands off my brother, fruit.” His eyes were all wet and red.
    Nobody’s ever going to get their hands on me. When the party’s over, I’m gone. Think I’ll stick around and get old like Frank? I hated him, but I was proud of his strength. If he couldn’t fix something, he’d break it. He’d tear that sucker apart. A lamp or a transmission, you name it. Especially when he was hitting the sauce.
    He stopped drinking two years ago when he almost killed Gabe; pulled a gun on him right there in the kitchen. He’ll probably start again. Gabe was always his favorite. Everybody always likes Gabe the best. Even Jerry Dean. I could tell by the way she looked at him. Dancing with him that night at the bar. She made me look like a fool. I straightened her out later. I didn’t hit her that hard; her teeth were already loose. All she eats is Coke and candy. Anyway, I wouldn’t have had to hit her in the first place if she hadn’t been acting like a slut.
    I went by there this morning and she said, “You must be happy now!” and slammed the door in my face. That bitch. Everybody always feels sorry for Gabe, like he’s the only one that matters. I’ll tell you something: He had it good. By the time the old man got to him, he’d worn himself out on me and David.
    I saw Frank kill a cat when I was little. Threw it into the wall and broke its neck. And he shot this puppy right in front of me and David ’cause when he called the puppy, it ran to David. David cried, but I didn’t. No tears from me. I wouldn’t give the old man nothing.
    He made me tough. That’s the one thing he done for me. Nothing can hurt me, or if it does, I’ll hurt it right back and make it stick.
    Wait till I get my hands on James. I’ll keep driving around till I find him. Thinks he can mess with my family like that. He should’ve drove Gabe home. He should see my mother. I’d like to drag him over there and say: Look at her face! She won’t