about. I just remember Mimi Rogers naked. She’s, like, one of the greatest special effects ever put on film. Her tits are...well, they’ve practically got their own weather systems. Each of them. And they’re real.”
“You’re sure?”
“First of all, the only women who intentionally have their tits blown up that big are in the porn business. Mimi’s breasts are totally an act of God. They moved, for one thing, like tits’re supposed to.”
“You’ve researched this? The whole thing about the women in porn?”
“Lick me.”
Adam laughed, then said, “Shit,” when he was killed on the television screen. He put the control down and stood. “So, did you tape it?”
“No, but it’s on again next weekend.” Carter’s hair was still wet, but he swept a comb through it after putting on a Babylon 5 T-shirt and a pair of baggy black jeans that were thin at the knees. “Okay, so what’s this mysterious thing you’re gonna tell me about?”
“Oh, nothing much,” Adam said with a shrug. “I just wondered if you wanted to come to the house because Dad’s having Mimi Rogers over for lunch, and I thought you’d—”
Carter’s mouth dropped open and his eyes became hubcaps. “Are you shitting me?”
Adam laughed so hard, he staggered backward and almost fell on the bed. He was a lousy liar and could never sustain a gag. Carter had a poker face and the willingness to say just about anything that might get a reaction from someone, but he was a sucker.
Carter swept his towel up off the floor and threw it at Adam. “You bitch!”
Still laughing, Adam said, “C’mon, let’s go. I’ll tell you about it on the way.”
Carter followed him into the hall and closed his bedroom door. “On the way to where?”
“Mimi Rogers’s house.”
“Oh, would you just—you can eat my crustiest pair of shorts!”
Adam laughed all the way down the stairs.
* * *
“Holy Jesus Christ!” Carter barked, turning to Adam in the car. Once again, his jaw hung loose, eyes wide. “You...you’re joking, right? That’s the only reason you showed up today, isn’t it? To mess with my head?”
“Nope. No joke.” Adam was grinning.
“That sorta thing...it only happens in letters to Penthouse.” Carter’s forehead wrinkled with a deep frown as he processed the new information. “But isn’t that, like...incest?”
“She married my dad, that’s all. We’re not related by blood.”
“Yeah, but still, that’s...well, look, Adam, I’m not dissin’ you, but...there’s just something a little too...Woody Allen about it, you know? It seems a little sick, doing a woman you call Mom.”
“I don’t call her ‘Mom.’ I’ve never called her ‘Mom.’”
“Even so, Adam, think about it. That’s you and your dad parkin’ your skinmobiles in the same garage, you know what I mean?”
Adam laughed. “Yeah, I know, it is a little weird, but I—”
“A little weird? There’s hardly any difference than if you and your dad were doin’ her at the same time.”
“Oh no, uh-uh,” Adam said sternly, shaking his head. He was no longer laughing and his smile had disappeared without a trace. “No, there’s a big difference. He doesn’t even know about it. And if he did, he’d probably kill me with his bare hands.”
Carter turned his head side to side slowly and said, “No, man, you’re kidding yourself. You’re both doin’ the same woman!”
“But not at the same time.”
“So what’s the big difference?”
“For one thing, we’re not doing her at the same time, like I said. If we were, I’d never be able to get it up, and I’d probably puke trying.”
Neither of them said anything for a while. Adam was about to turn on the radio when he noticed Carter was glancing at him every few seconds with a sheepish expression.
“What?” Adam asked.
“Well, it’s kinda personal, but...what’s she like?”
Adam smirked. “You mean in bed?”
“Hey. Alex Trebeck. Yes, in
“You’re sure?”
“First of all, the only women who intentionally have their tits blown up that big are in the porn business. Mimi’s breasts are totally an act of God. They moved, for one thing, like tits’re supposed to.”
“You’ve researched this? The whole thing about the women in porn?”
“Lick me.”
Adam laughed, then said, “Shit,” when he was killed on the television screen. He put the control down and stood. “So, did you tape it?”
“No, but it’s on again next weekend.” Carter’s hair was still wet, but he swept a comb through it after putting on a Babylon 5 T-shirt and a pair of baggy black jeans that were thin at the knees. “Okay, so what’s this mysterious thing you’re gonna tell me about?”
“Oh, nothing much,” Adam said with a shrug. “I just wondered if you wanted to come to the house because Dad’s having Mimi Rogers over for lunch, and I thought you’d—”
Carter’s mouth dropped open and his eyes became hubcaps. “Are you shitting me?”
Adam laughed so hard, he staggered backward and almost fell on the bed. He was a lousy liar and could never sustain a gag. Carter had a poker face and the willingness to say just about anything that might get a reaction from someone, but he was a sucker.
Carter swept his towel up off the floor and threw it at Adam. “You bitch!”
Still laughing, Adam said, “C’mon, let’s go. I’ll tell you about it on the way.”
Carter followed him into the hall and closed his bedroom door. “On the way to where?”
“Mimi Rogers’s house.”
“Oh, would you just—you can eat my crustiest pair of shorts!”
Adam laughed all the way down the stairs.
* * *
“Holy Jesus Christ!” Carter barked, turning to Adam in the car. Once again, his jaw hung loose, eyes wide. “You...you’re joking, right? That’s the only reason you showed up today, isn’t it? To mess with my head?”
“Nope. No joke.” Adam was grinning.
“That sorta thing...it only happens in letters to Penthouse.” Carter’s forehead wrinkled with a deep frown as he processed the new information. “But isn’t that, like...incest?”
“She married my dad, that’s all. We’re not related by blood.”
“Yeah, but still, that’s...well, look, Adam, I’m not dissin’ you, but...there’s just something a little too...Woody Allen about it, you know? It seems a little sick, doing a woman you call Mom.”
“I don’t call her ‘Mom.’ I’ve never called her ‘Mom.’”
“Even so, Adam, think about it. That’s you and your dad parkin’ your skinmobiles in the same garage, you know what I mean?”
Adam laughed. “Yeah, I know, it is a little weird, but I—”
“A little weird? There’s hardly any difference than if you and your dad were doin’ her at the same time.”
“Oh no, uh-uh,” Adam said sternly, shaking his head. He was no longer laughing and his smile had disappeared without a trace. “No, there’s a big difference. He doesn’t even know about it. And if he did, he’d probably kill me with his bare hands.”
Carter turned his head side to side slowly and said, “No, man, you’re kidding yourself. You’re both doin’ the same woman!”
“But not at the same time.”
“So what’s the big difference?”
“For one thing, we’re not doing her at the same time, like I said. If we were, I’d never be able to get it up, and I’d probably puke trying.”
Neither of them said anything for a while. Adam was about to turn on the radio when he noticed Carter was glancing at him every few seconds with a sheepish expression.
“What?” Adam asked.
“Well, it’s kinda personal, but...what’s she like?”
Adam smirked. “You mean in bed?”
“Hey. Alex Trebeck. Yes, in
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