infinitely small moment. My view--of what I possessed--what lay beneath me--had me practically crowing...thinking about the possibilities.
Amber arched beneath me, grunting softly, and it only took me a minute to realize she wanted me to look her in the eye. Daring me, she said smoothly, “Okay. So, you’re in charge now, Mark. Think about it .”
I chuckled. “Oh, I’m thinking about it, all right.”
Before I could decide what to do next, she warned, “Just remember, I will eventually get loose.”
Not that I’d been planning on keeping her hostage for any real length of time, or that she was actually, genuinely tied up even, but her words had me thinking twice.
There’s a key concept to a subtle change in my life that occurred the day I met Amber.
Think before acting? I wanted to slam Frank into the wall.
Both situations had me feeling stoved up, angry with myself. How had I backed myself into a corner like that?
I’ve never been such a hot-head that I don’t weigh my options--take a few seconds to think things through. Grim-lipped, I pulled it together, consciously open and shut my fists a few times, then smoothed my hands over my clothing, down my thighs, tugged on my shirt cuffs. Put things in perspective.
Stay with me. I’m back in the journal.
I’ll be damned if I was gonna tell my cousin Frank he was right, even if he was.
Frank’s a runt, but he’s Gaia-damned brilliant with numbers. I needed him desperately to fix a few major discrepancies he’d already found for me--to point us out of what looked like financial and personal ruin looming on the immediate horizon. And this new issue...was not going to help the company stocks. We’d go under without him; I knew it sure as shit.
Still, I wasn’t about to relinquish an inch of control to him there. Firmly, I said, “I hired you for your book skills, Frank.” I straightened my tie, resisting the temptation to loosen the noose. I willed myself to relax, to let go the wolf that wanted to break out. “I don’t need you for a conscience, nor as my personal psychoanalyst, so you can put your secondary degree away.” I reiterated, “I don’t need a shrink.”
He insisted, “You need something. Some help. You gotta find a way to relax...besides killing things.” Without a hint of humor, he suggested, “Maybe some medication.” His adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed heavily.
I reminded myself; he’s older, wiser and has lived off his wits, not his prowess. You could learn a few things from him, Mark.
He was right on one thing; I probably could use some medication.
But first, I really needed to kill something, someone--my brother if he wasn’t already dead, and I had to find him to do that. I didn’t want to waste time chatting. I had a feeling he had not been torn asunder at that scene.
Bark’s pretty fierce in a fight. I’d bet money on him any day. People tend to underestimate him, because he comes across as so even-tempered and easygoing. I’ve seen him take out five or six without trouble. When he goes crinos, which isn’t often, he’s fucked up hell to deal with--unless you get him in the first few minutes while the man’s still in control.
Frank had other ideas, though. He stuttered, “Wol...Wolf Enterprises has been cheated by one of its own, and it--it looks like it’s--it’s our CEO, for Gaia’s sake.” Something in his gaze and his tone told me that he didn’t quite believe that Bark stole from the company, either.
He went on. “Abandoned at the worst possible time, stock wise. And now--” I think his brain froze over while replaying the news report we’d just witnessed in the board room. “I know it’s inconceivable. But those people back there--” He thumbed over his shoulder. “They need to feel confident that you’ve got things under control.
Amber arched beneath me, grunting softly, and it only took me a minute to realize she wanted me to look her in the eye. Daring me, she said smoothly, “Okay. So, you’re in charge now, Mark. Think about it .”
I chuckled. “Oh, I’m thinking about it, all right.”
Before I could decide what to do next, she warned, “Just remember, I will eventually get loose.”
Not that I’d been planning on keeping her hostage for any real length of time, or that she was actually, genuinely tied up even, but her words had me thinking twice.
There’s a key concept to a subtle change in my life that occurred the day I met Amber.
Think before acting? I wanted to slam Frank into the wall.
Both situations had me feeling stoved up, angry with myself. How had I backed myself into a corner like that?
I’ve never been such a hot-head that I don’t weigh my options--take a few seconds to think things through. Grim-lipped, I pulled it together, consciously open and shut my fists a few times, then smoothed my hands over my clothing, down my thighs, tugged on my shirt cuffs. Put things in perspective.
Stay with me. I’m back in the journal.
I’ll be damned if I was gonna tell my cousin Frank he was right, even if he was.
Frank’s a runt, but he’s Gaia-damned brilliant with numbers. I needed him desperately to fix a few major discrepancies he’d already found for me--to point us out of what looked like financial and personal ruin looming on the immediate horizon. And this new issue...was not going to help the company stocks. We’d go under without him; I knew it sure as shit.
Still, I wasn’t about to relinquish an inch of control to him there. Firmly, I said, “I hired you for your book skills, Frank.” I straightened my tie, resisting the temptation to loosen the noose. I willed myself to relax, to let go the wolf that wanted to break out. “I don’t need you for a conscience, nor as my personal psychoanalyst, so you can put your secondary degree away.” I reiterated, “I don’t need a shrink.”
He insisted, “You need something. Some help. You gotta find a way to relax...besides killing things.” Without a hint of humor, he suggested, “Maybe some medication.” His adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed heavily.
I reminded myself; he’s older, wiser and has lived off his wits, not his prowess. You could learn a few things from him, Mark.
He was right on one thing; I probably could use some medication.
But first, I really needed to kill something, someone--my brother if he wasn’t already dead, and I had to find him to do that. I didn’t want to waste time chatting. I had a feeling he had not been torn asunder at that scene.
Bark’s pretty fierce in a fight. I’d bet money on him any day. People tend to underestimate him, because he comes across as so even-tempered and easygoing. I’ve seen him take out five or six without trouble. When he goes crinos, which isn’t often, he’s fucked up hell to deal with--unless you get him in the first few minutes while the man’s still in control.
Frank had other ideas, though. He stuttered, “Wol...Wolf Enterprises has been cheated by one of its own, and it--it looks like it’s--it’s our CEO, for Gaia’s sake.” Something in his gaze and his tone told me that he didn’t quite believe that Bark stole from the company, either.
He went on. “Abandoned at the worst possible time, stock wise. And now--” I think his brain froze over while replaying the news report we’d just witnessed in the board room. “I know it’s inconceivable. But those people back there--” He thumbed over his shoulder. “They need to feel confident that you’ve got things under control.