I was the only one who knew it. It was like reading a book and slowly unraveling a character, bringing him to life in your imagination. However, I could see photographs of her, and she was made of flesh and bones.
When Kelsang came over for breakfast the following morning, we got right on my computer only to see that Samantha was tweeting. Knowing she was online, Kelsang used the opportunity to post a personal tweet with a mention of her and her handle, which would automatically go to her “Mentions” tab. My heart was pounding as he tweeted instructions for her to go to her spam box on Facebook, where she would find my message. I panicked as soon as he did it. Worried that it could look too spam-like, I asked him to remove it immediately, which he did. I came up with another idea, to send her a message on her YouTube channel. Kelsang shot me down when he told me he had already tried this tactic. But I did it anyway. Next, I composed a message to her that I was determined to deliver somehow. “Oh, good morning, I am your twin sister, Cheers.” Never mind. It was a little too bold, and there was no way I could think of to get it to her and be taken seriously.
It was time for me to go back to classes. I was right in the middle of the final collection, and missing the previous school day was catastrophic enough. Technically, this was the year you rarely slept, ate, or had any fun, except for discovering a novel sewing technique that could save you three hours of work, or should I say, gain you three hours of much-needed sleep. Even if all my focus was on Samantha, I had obligations in London and I had to get back to work. Only three days had passed since I had sent my Facebook friend request, but it felt like twenty-five years. Nothing else mattered but hearing from Samantha. I wanted to know that she had received my message, but even more I wanted for her to answer it. I was feeling so vulnerable that I wanted to be home in Paris being comforted by my mum and dad. They would have supported me in a way that only parents could.
Right now, I was feeling overwhelmed with frustration and uncertainty. It was like I was imprisoned somewhere, trying to yell at someone who couldn’t hear me, and had never heard of me, and wouldn’t know if I were dead or not. It was almost unbearable, knowing about Samantha and knowing that she had absolutely no clue of my existence. I just wanted her to see me, to see my message and to react. Whatever the reaction was, I just wanted her to know I existed. All I could do was wait.
My friends were waiting, too, feeling my stress. Everybody wanted a resolution, and some took matters into their own hands. Without me knowing it, my friend Maxence tweeted Samantha from Paris, telling her to look for a message from Anaïs on her Facebook, and then open it and read it. Lucas posted an Instagram photo of me with a handwritten note on the bottom—“Check your spam box.” He thought something handwritten would look friendlier than a computerized message, and he was thinking Samantha might not even know there was such a thing as a Facebook spam box.
And then it happened! In a life-changing instant, two notifications from Facebook popped up on my phone that Samantha had accepted my friend request and read my message! I was at school in the studio with my friends when I found out. “YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!” I shouted, crazily jumping around the studio. “She read it! She read it! She read it!” Everyone erupted in cheers. I didn’t know it yet, but the winning communication had been Maxence’s tweet from Paris. That was the one that had gotten Samantha’s attention. What I knew was that contact had been established, and I couldn’t have been more elated.
4
SAM
right in the palm of my hand
Now that I had confirmed Anaïs’s friend request, I was really at a loss for what to do next. There was no way I could say the photos I had seen in her albums didn’t look like me and dismiss her as