Selby Scrambled Read Online Free PDF Page B
Author: Duncan Ball
Camilla Bonzer, I’m not so sure about her; Postie Paterson, good; and Aunt Jetty is the goalie. They used to call her Shin-Smasher Jetty when she played hockey. I reckon she’ll be a really good goalie. Oh, and there’s Gary Gaggs, he could be okay. Not a great team but the Poshfield team looks pathetic. Look at them intheir neat little uniforms. They look like they’ve just come from the hairdressers and had their fingernails polished. And that’s just the guys. I reckon they’ll be in for a big surprise.’
‘It’s about time you got here,’ Denis Dorset said to the Trifles. ‘Now are you ready to play?’
‘Well, yes, I think so,’ Mrs Trifle said.
‘Then how about a little wager?’
‘A what?’
‘A bet. I’ll bet you ten thousand dollars that we’ll beat you.’
‘Ten thousand dollars!’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘We don’t have that sort of money. Besides, I’m not really a betting person.’
‘Then we’ll make it one thousand. Just take it out of the tea money jar in your council’s recreation room. That’s what we did.’
‘Our council doesn’t even have a recreation room and our tea money jar never has any more than seventy cents in it.’
‘Oh be a sport, Mayor Trifle,’ Denis said, rubbing his hands together. ‘Or are you afraid we’ll beat you?’
‘Not at all. I think we should just play for the fun of it.’
‘Fun? You’re such a bunch of scaredy-cats.’
‘No, we’re not.’
‘If these Poshfield twits really want to lose their money,’ Aunt Jetty roared, ‘let’s take it from them! What do you say? Let’s all chip in and take the bet! Come on, guys!’
‘I’ll be in that!’ Melanie Mildew yelled.
‘Me too!’ said Postie Paterson.
‘And me!’ Gary Gaggs said.
One by one, the Bogusville players called out.
‘Okay, Denis,’ Mrs Trifle said, ‘a thousand dollars it is.’
A cheer went up from the Bogusville players as the two mayors shook hands.
‘Great!’ Selby thought. ‘This is just
tooooooo
good!’
Denis Dorset blew his whistle.
‘Okay, the game has officially started,’ he said. ‘But wait. I do believe you’re one player short, Mayor Trifle. I’m afraid you’ll have to forfeit the game.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Your team just lost. I’m terribly sorry but those are the rules,’ Denis said, holding up hiscopy of
Soccer for Ninnies.
‘You only have ten players and you need eleven. Sorry. We’ll take the thousand dollars in cash, thank you very much.’
The Poshfield team all laughed and began putting on their designer tracksuits.
‘That is so not fair!’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘You knew we only had ten players before you made the bet. That’s cheating!’
‘It’s not cheating,’ Denis said. ‘It’s just noticing. It’s a pity you didn’t notice, too. You could have saved your players a considerable amount of money.’
Mrs Trifle thumbed through her copy of
Soccer for Ninnies.
‘Hang on,’ she said. ‘Selby is our eleventh player.’
‘Selby?’ Denis Dorset asked. ‘Who’s that?’
‘Our mascot,’ Mrs Trifle said, pointing to Selby. ‘And now he’s going to be a player, too.’
‘You can’t have a dog on your team!’
‘Show me where it says that the players have to be human beings.’
‘Of course it’s not in the rule book,’ Denis said. ‘It’s too obvious. Everyone knows that already.’
‘We don’t know that, do we, team?’ Mrs Trifle called.
‘No, we don’t!’ came the reply.
‘There you have it then,’ Mrs Trifle said.
‘I’m sorry but our team refuses to play against a dog,’ Denis said. ‘He might bite.’
‘He most certainly will not!’ Mrs Trifle answered. ‘But if you’re worried about it we’ll just let him sit and watch the game. And, by the way, I’ve been noticing something myself: Poshfield is short a player. That’ll be a thousand dollars, please.’
‘You tell him, Mrs Trifle,’ Selby thought. ‘That dirty guy! He’s getting everything he
‘It’s about time you got here,’ Denis Dorset said to the Trifles. ‘Now are you ready to play?’
‘Well, yes, I think so,’ Mrs Trifle said.
‘Then how about a little wager?’
‘A what?’
‘A bet. I’ll bet you ten thousand dollars that we’ll beat you.’
‘Ten thousand dollars!’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘We don’t have that sort of money. Besides, I’m not really a betting person.’
‘Then we’ll make it one thousand. Just take it out of the tea money jar in your council’s recreation room. That’s what we did.’
‘Our council doesn’t even have a recreation room and our tea money jar never has any more than seventy cents in it.’
‘Oh be a sport, Mayor Trifle,’ Denis said, rubbing his hands together. ‘Or are you afraid we’ll beat you?’
‘Not at all. I think we should just play for the fun of it.’
‘Fun? You’re such a bunch of scaredy-cats.’
‘No, we’re not.’
‘If these Poshfield twits really want to lose their money,’ Aunt Jetty roared, ‘let’s take it from them! What do you say? Let’s all chip in and take the bet! Come on, guys!’
‘I’ll be in that!’ Melanie Mildew yelled.
‘Me too!’ said Postie Paterson.
‘And me!’ Gary Gaggs said.
One by one, the Bogusville players called out.
‘Okay, Denis,’ Mrs Trifle said, ‘a thousand dollars it is.’
A cheer went up from the Bogusville players as the two mayors shook hands.
‘Great!’ Selby thought. ‘This is just
tooooooo
good!’
Denis Dorset blew his whistle.
‘Okay, the game has officially started,’ he said. ‘But wait. I do believe you’re one player short, Mayor Trifle. I’m afraid you’ll have to forfeit the game.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Your team just lost. I’m terribly sorry but those are the rules,’ Denis said, holding up hiscopy of
Soccer for Ninnies.
‘You only have ten players and you need eleven. Sorry. We’ll take the thousand dollars in cash, thank you very much.’
The Poshfield team all laughed and began putting on their designer tracksuits.
‘That is so not fair!’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘You knew we only had ten players before you made the bet. That’s cheating!’
‘It’s not cheating,’ Denis said. ‘It’s just noticing. It’s a pity you didn’t notice, too. You could have saved your players a considerable amount of money.’
Mrs Trifle thumbed through her copy of
Soccer for Ninnies.
‘Hang on,’ she said. ‘Selby is our eleventh player.’
‘Selby?’ Denis Dorset asked. ‘Who’s that?’
‘Our mascot,’ Mrs Trifle said, pointing to Selby. ‘And now he’s going to be a player, too.’
‘You can’t have a dog on your team!’
‘Show me where it says that the players have to be human beings.’
‘Of course it’s not in the rule book,’ Denis said. ‘It’s too obvious. Everyone knows that already.’
‘We don’t know that, do we, team?’ Mrs Trifle called.
‘No, we don’t!’ came the reply.
‘There you have it then,’ Mrs Trifle said.
‘I’m sorry but our team refuses to play against a dog,’ Denis said. ‘He might bite.’
‘He most certainly will not!’ Mrs Trifle answered. ‘But if you’re worried about it we’ll just let him sit and watch the game. And, by the way, I’ve been noticing something myself: Poshfield is short a player. That’ll be a thousand dollars, please.’
‘You tell him, Mrs Trifle,’ Selby thought. ‘That dirty guy! He’s getting everything he