straightened she caught a hint of Tony’s aftershave. Had he followed her? She jerked around and released a held breath. He had slept here last night.
Two steps took her into the bathroom. She locked both doors. The scent of his aftershave strengthened. A shiver not caused by her chilled body rolled through her. Thinking about him frightened her. She’d never been so drawn to a man. The reaction was dangerous.
As she stripped she turned on the shower. How was she going to act? He’d cooked, set the table and brought flowers. Was this offering an apology or a seduction tactic? Maybe both. Whatever his intentions her opinion of him was changing.
She stepped beneath the hot spray and reached for the soap. He had showered here. She imagined him rubbing the cloth over his body. Her breasts and nipples tightened. For an instant she recalled how heavy they had felt that morning when he’d circled her waist and whispered against her neck. The thought led to the kiss that had nearly ended her chance of becoming Jamie’s guardian. She scrubbed her body. She wanted Tony Carlin with a need that scared her.
He seemed to have changed. Could she trust him or was his apparent kindness just another way for him to prove his assumptions were right?
She drew a deep breath. Years ago she would have leaped to accept his invitation. Her days of rebellion and using her body to gain a meal or a night in a motel room had ended when she’d reached California. Carrie and Jim had helped her reclaim her self-respect. She couldn’t allow lust to take her hard earned reclamation away.
She ran the cloth over her body and washed between her legs. She washed until heat coiled in her coil. With one hand on the shower wall and with her imaginary lover stroking faster she fell over the edge.
Water flowed over. She flipped the lever off, stepped from the stall and dried. In the mirror she saw her flushed face. When she went downstairs would Tony suspect what she had done? She dressed, unlocked the doors and left her clothes for the morning in the nursery. Drawing a deep breath she prepared to face Tony.
At the bottom of the stairs she stopped short. For a moment she thought she saw Jim. Tony sat on the couch with Jamie on his lap. The baby played peek-a-boo and laughed.
Tears oozed to the surface. She tamped them down. No tears tonight. The sight of the pair brought relief and panic. Could Tony’s resemblance to his brother be more than physical?
She had adored her brother-in-law. For months after meeting Jim she’d had a crush. Those daydreams had lasted until Carrie had pointed out the foolishness of yearning for an impossible dream. Once again sadness captured her mood. She would never talk to Carrie or Jim again.
Could she move beyond these paralyzing moments of grief? She must.
A thought surfaced. What about Tony? How did he handle his grief? Though he and his brother had drifted apart surely there had been memories of closeness between them.
“Where are the groceries?” she asked.
“In the cupboard and the fridge. Your computer and books are on the coffee table. As I was storing things he started to cry and yell to be picked up.”
Her gaze settled on the pair. Perhaps Tony realized Jamie was more than an obligation. The chock chimed seven times. “I’ll bathe him and settle him for the night. Then I want to eat some of what smells wonderful.”
“Can I watch the bath in case I need to be the sitter again?”
“Sure.”
She carried Jamie and the rest of the dinner bottle upstairs. After finding pajamas and a night diaper she took the baby into the bathroom. She knelt beside the tub to wash him. As she soaped him he splashed the water and chortled.
Tony rolled his eyes. “Think I’ll pass on the chore. He moves like a greased pig.”
“Ig. Ig.” Jamie kicked the water.
Lauren laughed. “I have to be fast, don’t I love?” She rinsed him and as she lifted him wrapped a towel around his body. “How long before dinner