Secrets of a D-List Supervillain Read Online Free PDF

says, leaning against the counter. “I’m all ears.”
    “While I do enjoy your lovely ears, I’m glad you’re not all ears.”
    As she shakes her head, I decide that I’m on a roll. “Hey, if I ever do write another book, I should use that line and make me sound like a Casanova. Music, play Levert, Casanova.”
    We bob our heads to the opening beats as she says, “If you do write another book, not only are you getting in that Bugler outfit, but you’ll have to make another sex tape.”
    She brought that up? Wow! If Stacy is joking about our taped escapades, I must be doing something right.
    “You could call it ‘Blow My Bugle.’ We’d need to send a complimentary copy to Bo. That’s most of the reason people are always trying to find this place, to find that video. It’s become the modern day Holy Grail.”
    “You ever watch it?” she asks, as I watch the pancake batter bubble in the skillet.
    “Once,” I reply.
    “Once a day is more like it,” she accuses, before seeing whatever sour expression just crossed my face. “Oh, I guess so.”
    “Yeah,” I confess. “Didn’t want to torture myself like that.”
    We’re stuck in an awkward moment for a few seconds before I change the subject. “Anyway, this place is going to become much more difficult to find soon enough.”
    “Why is that? I know you called it a pig farm and said it was by the Mobile River, but someone could still put it all together.”
    “Two weeks from now, the renovation begins up top. James and Flora are moving in. They’re a couple of crazy kids who are getting out of the California rat race, and turning this old run down place into a rustic Bed and Breakfast.”
    “Actors hired by Wendy I assume?” she asks.
    “Two modified Type A robots in costume,” I correct her. “Andy wants to practice his ‘pretending to be human’ skills. Gives us a way to hide some guard bots in plain sight, and allows us to use the land up top. We can’t really expand this base much more. Unless Andy is downright horrible, the locals will pass it off as a couple of crazy west coasters.”
    “Makes sense. Clever idea.”
    “I try,” I smile, and flip the pair of flapjacks. “The silo is coming down and will be replaced by James’ garage; the guy is a real car nut. The horse stables will house our Type B bots.”
    “Any real horses?”
    I shrug. “I believe so. Andy was telling me that Flora wants to breed those miniature ponies or something like that. If you want to know what I think, Andy wasn’t allowed to have pets before and now he’s overcompensating, but it’s cool he has hobbies. Just don’t be surprised if it turns into a petting zoo up top. Wendy thinks Crabby Gabby will want to learn how to ride at some point. She even has this crazy idea of letting anyone stay here. I think we should just add more Type A bots as guests.”
    “Pool?”
    “Off the chain,” I say. I don’t let her see the frown. Unconsciously, the pool I’d submitted looked like a scaled down version of the pool from the estate belonging to the Overlord in Branson, Missouri. I’d tried to get them to let me change it, but was too chickenshit to tell them it reminded me of Vicky. This would also be a real shitty time to bring that up as well.
    “Do you like your pancakes crispy?” Stacy asks and I realize that I let the pancakes burn.
    “Nah, just got distracted thinking about the structural requirements to make certain the pool never floods this place. Let’s try this again with a new set of candidates.”
    Stacy accepts my lame excuse as I scrape away the first attempt and start over. Minutes later, we both had a short stack of tasty, buttermilk goodness.
    “So, what happened next? You still didn’t know Wendy was pregnant at this point, did you?”
    In retrospect, Stacy is right; the chocolate chips seem like overkill. “All right, I’ll tell you, but no laughing. Wendy was still on her personal leave of absence. Next, I guess would be me and a