Scars Read Online Free PDF

it.”
     
    “I see.” Again, Matt didn’t quite feel like blaming the man, but that did not mean the words did not sting. “You want me gone, is that it?”
     
    “No, that’s not it,” Becky said quickly. She turned towards her husband, watching him carefully. “That’s not it, is it, Joe?”
     
    Joe sighed heavily. “It is,” he admitted. “I’m sorry, but it is. Matt, I’ve got nothing against you personally, you know that, but I haven’t been completely free in my own house for almost a year now.”
     
    Matt nodded slowly. “I hear you,” he said.
     
    “Still, we can’t exactly kick you out,” Joe continued. “I for one don’t want that. But I do want you to get your shit together. Find a job and keep it. Find a place of your own. Get back on your feet. How much longer are you going to drift?”
     
    Matt thought about it. He couldn’t answer that question. He had been drifting for most of his life, and even more so since he came back from his latest tour in Afghanistan almost a year ago (eleven months, two weeks, and three days, but who was counting?).
     
    “Joe is right.” Becky’s quiet voice took him away from his reverie. Matt looked up at his sister in surprise, and she paled. “I’m sorry!” She all but squealed. “But it’s true, you can’t keep this up much longer. It’s going to kill you. Frankly, it’s killing me to see you throw away your life like this. You need to d,o something, Matt. Go back to therapy, get your act together. Stop making excuses and get help.”
     
    Matt was silent for a few moments, letting his sister and brother-in-law’s words sink in. “I’ll think about it,” he finally said.
     
    Becky smiled sadly at him. “You and I both know that you won’t.” She shook her head and stood, too weak and disappointed to actually get angry. She left the room without another word, and Joe followed her a few minutes later.
     
    Matt watched them go and felt nothing.
     
    ***
     
    As it turned out, his sister was wrong; Matt did think about it. He thought about it for the next two days. For forty-eight hours, he did nothing but think about it. He thought about the spot he was putting his sister in, having to justify her no-good brother to the good townsfolk of Cartridge, Texas. He thought about all the worry he was causing her. He thought about that normality that kept eluding him and that perhaps always would.
     
    Finally, after two days of thinking, he came to a decision. He decided that enough was enough. He couldn’t keep doing this to his sister any longer. He may not be mooching off of her physically, but he sure was being an emotional vampire in his own way—and that was about the last thing Becky needed.
     
    He didn’t made the choice easily or rashly. He thought it over, and at the end he was sure there was simply no way around it. He had to go, for Becky’s sake. He wasn’t sure where he would go or if the journey would even help him find his lost bearings, but he knew for a fact he wasn’t going to find him in Cartridge.
     
    On the morning of the third day after his discussion with Joe and Becky, Matt packed his rucksack. He did it at dawn, before anyone else woke up. He wrote a note to his sister, thanking her for all she had done for him and letting her know he would always love her, but that he needed to do this and put distance between them for both of their sakes. He walked downstairs and left the note taped to the coffee maker, knowing that was a sure place to leave it if he wanted it to be seen right away. He shouldered his rucksack and walked to the bus stop in the deserted streets of the small town. He took the first bus out and rode it for almost an hour to Austin’s bus station.
     
    The heat in Austin was scorching, but Matt hardly felt it as he grabbed his rucksack and walked off the bus, into the busy station, and to the ticket counter. He asked the woman there when the first bus out of the city was due to leave, and where