not just because of the expensive stones, but because of the meaning behind them. Considering how close he is to his family, I know the significance of this ring. When he asked me to be his forever, he meant it.
And when I told him "yes," I'd meant it, too. Though I know the girl isn't supposed to give the guy an engagement ring, I wish I had something as special to give Andrés in return.
My hand falls to my stomach as I think I may already be carrying his child. Knowing how much Andrés wants children, I'm sure that would make him happy, but would it make me happy? I'm about to start a new career. I'm only twenty-one. Am I ready for children? Andrés is five years older than me. He's been to war twice and now he's running successful businesses. I know he wants to start a family. I just hope we can wait a few more years, if it isn't already too late.
I roll over and clutch my stomach as it makes this loud rumbling noise. It feels like a hollow drum, and I swear my insides must be gnawing on each other, that's how hungry I am all of a sudden. Weird because I've kind of felt off these past few mornings. I can't put my finger on it, but it's taking me longer to get out of bed, and I've been lightheaded. It could just be my sinus infection or it could be that I'm pregnant.
Goddamn, I'm taking that test!
I throw the covers off me and rush to the bathroom. I've got to pee anyway. Might as well kill two birds with one stone.
***
Two lines. Two fucking lines.
I check the words on the box for at least the tenth time and make sure I've read the directions carefully. Two lines means positive, and positive means pregnant.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I fling that stupid stick across the floor and slide off the toilet in a sobbing heap. This cannot be happening.
"What's wrong, mija?"
Andrés is poking his head through the door, looking down at me with a crease marring his brow. I don't know what to say, and honestly, I'm too choked up to speak, but then his gaze settles on the empty pregnancy kit box and he steps inside the bathroom and picks it up. He looks from the box and back to me with wide eyes.
I still can't speak, so I answer him with a nod.
" Aye Dios Mio ," he breathes as he sits on the floor beside me. He pulls me into his lap, kissing my forehead and stroking my back.
That's when I really lose it and start bawling like a baby. He holds me like this for a long while. I still haven't regained my composure, but then a shiver steals up my spine, and I shudder in his arms. There's a draft on the floor, and I'm not wearing a stitch of clothing. Without saying a word, Andrés carries me to bed and we snuggle beneath the comforter. He leans over me and rubs warmth into my arms while kissing my temple.
That feels kind of good, and damn my stupid hormones, I'm turned on. What's wrong with my body? I thought I wasn't supposed to get horny after getting knocked up. But now's not the time for sex. My fiancé and I have some talking to do.
I can feel Andrés's gaze on me, but I can't face him, so I turn on my back and stare at a crack in our ceiling. "The night we made up, I forgot my pills at my mom's house. I didn't even realize it until the next morning. I'm sorry."
He's leaning over me, tracing his fingers up and down my arm. "It's okay." There's not even a hint of panic in his voice. This should comfort me, but it doesn't. An uneasy feeling settles over me when I realize it's because Andrés wants this. He wants to settle down and have babies.
"No, it's not," I groan. "I'm not ready."
Ugh. I drape my arm over my eyes as a wave of nausea hits me. Thinking about all my new responsibilities is making me queasy.
"We'll get through it," he says. "We can do this."
What is he, my coach? Is this some kind of unplanned pregnancy pep talk?
It's like he's not seeing the bigger picture. We're not just going to be responsible for feeding and clothing a child: we've got to be role models. My parents never taught me values. The only thing
And when I told him "yes," I'd meant it, too. Though I know the girl isn't supposed to give the guy an engagement ring, I wish I had something as special to give Andrés in return.
My hand falls to my stomach as I think I may already be carrying his child. Knowing how much Andrés wants children, I'm sure that would make him happy, but would it make me happy? I'm about to start a new career. I'm only twenty-one. Am I ready for children? Andrés is five years older than me. He's been to war twice and now he's running successful businesses. I know he wants to start a family. I just hope we can wait a few more years, if it isn't already too late.
I roll over and clutch my stomach as it makes this loud rumbling noise. It feels like a hollow drum, and I swear my insides must be gnawing on each other, that's how hungry I am all of a sudden. Weird because I've kind of felt off these past few mornings. I can't put my finger on it, but it's taking me longer to get out of bed, and I've been lightheaded. It could just be my sinus infection or it could be that I'm pregnant.
Goddamn, I'm taking that test!
I throw the covers off me and rush to the bathroom. I've got to pee anyway. Might as well kill two birds with one stone.
***
Two lines. Two fucking lines.
I check the words on the box for at least the tenth time and make sure I've read the directions carefully. Two lines means positive, and positive means pregnant.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I fling that stupid stick across the floor and slide off the toilet in a sobbing heap. This cannot be happening.
"What's wrong, mija?"
Andrés is poking his head through the door, looking down at me with a crease marring his brow. I don't know what to say, and honestly, I'm too choked up to speak, but then his gaze settles on the empty pregnancy kit box and he steps inside the bathroom and picks it up. He looks from the box and back to me with wide eyes.
I still can't speak, so I answer him with a nod.
" Aye Dios Mio ," he breathes as he sits on the floor beside me. He pulls me into his lap, kissing my forehead and stroking my back.
That's when I really lose it and start bawling like a baby. He holds me like this for a long while. I still haven't regained my composure, but then a shiver steals up my spine, and I shudder in his arms. There's a draft on the floor, and I'm not wearing a stitch of clothing. Without saying a word, Andrés carries me to bed and we snuggle beneath the comforter. He leans over me and rubs warmth into my arms while kissing my temple.
That feels kind of good, and damn my stupid hormones, I'm turned on. What's wrong with my body? I thought I wasn't supposed to get horny after getting knocked up. But now's not the time for sex. My fiancé and I have some talking to do.
I can feel Andrés's gaze on me, but I can't face him, so I turn on my back and stare at a crack in our ceiling. "The night we made up, I forgot my pills at my mom's house. I didn't even realize it until the next morning. I'm sorry."
He's leaning over me, tracing his fingers up and down my arm. "It's okay." There's not even a hint of panic in his voice. This should comfort me, but it doesn't. An uneasy feeling settles over me when I realize it's because Andrés wants this. He wants to settle down and have babies.
"No, it's not," I groan. "I'm not ready."
Ugh. I drape my arm over my eyes as a wave of nausea hits me. Thinking about all my new responsibilities is making me queasy.
"We'll get through it," he says. "We can do this."
What is he, my coach? Is this some kind of unplanned pregnancy pep talk?
It's like he's not seeing the bigger picture. We're not just going to be responsible for feeding and clothing a child: we've got to be role models. My parents never taught me values. The only thing
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