Saviour: A Devil's Spawn MC Novel (Savior Book 3) Read Online Free PDF Page B

I’m doing a good job with her. Am I providing what she needs? Would she be better off being raised by someone else with more experience? Will she resent me for having to be both parents’ when I should only have to be her sister? None of that seems to have crossed Tilly’s mind though. Whether it’s because she is a sweet girl that can’t bear to hurt me, or she genuinely believes I’m doing a good job I don’t know. I probably never will. But the one time I did bring up my doubts about my abilities she laughed at me saying I’m more than good enough, that she wants for nothing. She ended it with a tight hug making me promise to lighten up on myself. What she can’t possibly understand is that it’s impossible not to worry about her. I’ll forever question being able to guide her to good decisions. And with no one around to reassure me I’m doing right by her, I’ve become my own harshest critic.
     
    The only time that was any different was when Tank was still coming around. It’s been fourteen months since Tank and I have sat in the same room. It’s been at least that long since we have actually had a conversation. And it’s been fourteen months since he came home from wherever he’d gone shutting me out entirely. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen Tank around enough to know that he’s still alive and accounted for, I just haven’t had any direct contact with him. I’m thinking now that I don’t want any either. For at least the next fourteen months, if not the rest of my life. His dismissal of me, his dismissal of our friendship hurt more than I ever thought it would. I suppose seeing as our friendship was built over time I hadn’t stopped to realise how intertwined our lives had become until it was too late. When I did it only served to illustrate that I was stupid having come to rely on him in the first place if it was so easy for him to up and leave me in the lurch.
     
    He still spends time with Tilly which is all I can hope for at the moment, and I’m glad him being finished with me hasn’t extended to her. Tank takes her for dinner, to the library and back when she needed to study, and lately he’s been teaching her to drive. That’s a whole other worry best left untouched at the moment for the sake of my mental health. Unlike before though, Tank drops Tilly off at the curb beside our driveway leaving as soon as he sees she’s safely crossed the threshold of our front door. I won’t lie. I’ll openly admit I watch him through the living room window that faces out on to the street. Getting a glimpse of him is better than nothing these days and that’s all I‘m getting, so I take it.
     
    Tank has secrets. Lots of them. I know it. He knows I know it. Yet he still keeps them so tightly under wraps you would think it’s a breach of national security if he were to share them with anyone. Other than Tilly and I the only other person that has any sort of insight into the inner workings of the ginormous ex-Navy SEAL is Arrow. In saying that, Arrow’s probably privy to less information about Tank than I have been. And that’s not saying much because in all honesty I know little to nothing.
     
    In the beginning I was understanding when it came to his need for privacy. The little he did share about his mom and dad, his brothers, all five of them, (there is indeed a God because they are all top shelf pickings in the hot man auction), and his previous life in Chicago was enough. I didn’t even suspect at the start of our friendship that Tank has demons he’s trying to conceal. As the months turned to years that were passing us by quickly I began asking more and more questions. I got non-answers, you know the evasive ones that lack any actual information, or straight out ignored. To say it frustrating would be an understatement.
     
    More than a few times Tank and I have gone days, occasionally weeks, and once months five of them to be precise, without talking after a huge argument. They were