be me and Justin and Brianna and weâd be happy.
Justin looked down at the dashboard and muttered something I didnât hear. âWhat is it?â I asked.
âYou got much money?â he said.
âSome,â I answered carefully. âWhy?â Brianna coughed in her sleep and moved around in the car seat. Her nose was running again. I found a Kleenex to wipe it. There was still some dried crusty stuff on one side, but I was afraid Iâd wake her up if I tried to pick it off.
âWe need to stop for gas.â
âWhat do you mean?â
Justin leaned over and knocked on my head with his fist. âKnock, knock, Evie. Anyone home?â
I pulled my head away. âCut it out, Justin,â I said. âDo we have to stop now? Canât we go a little farther?â
âNo.â
I could tell by his voice that he was getting mad.
âYou wanna get to Montreal?â he snapped. âYou wanna get five more freakinâ minutes down the road? We need gas.â
âOkay. Fine,â I said. I found my purse and pulled out a twenty. âIs this enough?â I asked, holding out the money.
âItâs not going to get us very far,â Justin said.
I found another twenty-dollar bill. âHere. But thatâs it. Briannaâs gonna need diapers and food and stuff when we get to Montreal.â
Justin mumbled something, then grabbed the money, jamming the bills into the pocket of his jeans. âWatch for a gas station,â he said.
We both spotted the place at the same timeâa convenience store with a coupleof gas pumps. Just as Justin slowed down to turn, I smelled it. Something awful, a smell like a backed-up sewer, filled the truck.
âAw, shit,â Justin said. âWhat theââ He put the back of his hand up to his nose.
I remembered that smell from babysitting. It was the part I always hated. But this was different because Brianna was my baby. âItâs just a dirty diaper,â I said to Justin. âI can change her right here while you get the gas.â
He pulled in next to the gas pumps, shut off the truck and got out. Brianna was still sleeping. She was such a good baby.
I undid the belt and lifted her out of the seat. She was warm and she didnât smell very good, but I couldâve held on to her forever. She settled in on my shoulder. I brushed bits of her fuzzy hair off her forehead. She had such long eyelashesâjust like Justin. And her fingernails, they were so tiny. Iâd neverseen fingernails so little. How the heck was I going to cut them?
Brianna had the same long fingers as my mother. Piano-player fingers. My mother could play the piano without even looking at music. She used to say the music was in her head. She tried to teach me to play, but there wasnât any music in my head at all. And my fingers were short and stubby.
After my mom died, my dad sold the piano and gave all her CDs to the Sally Ann. He didnât even ask me if I wanted them.
I leaned over and kissed Briannaâs fingers. Maybe thereâd be music in her head. Maybe sheâd play the piano for me when she was older, just the way my mother had done. All of a sudden there was a lump in my throat and I had to swallow hard a couple of times to get it to go down.
Chapter Ten
Brianna coughed, opened her eyes and made whimpering noises. âShush, Mamaâs here,â I told her.
She twisted in my arms and made more fussy sounds. It was hard to hold on to her and get out the diapers and stuff I needed, but I managed to get everything, spread the changing pad on the seat and lay her down. I had to openthe truck door, stand outside and lean over the seat.
Brianna wouldnât stay still. She kicked and squirmed and I could barely get the snaps undone on her sleepers. Sheâd loaded her diaper. I didnât know what the Hansens had been feeding her, but it was rank. The smell made me gag. For a second I thought I
Alaska Angelini, A. A. Dark