Saving Allegheny Green Read Online Free PDF

flying Captain Crunch. Aunt Tessa had a fit when she had discovered the Swigglys had built the house next door to ours.
    Miss Gloria was as dull as her husband was showy. The peahen to his peacock. She wore a shin-length brown print dress, sensible flat brown shoes, brown purse, brown hair worn in a tight bun at the back of her head, brown eyes without a hint of makeup—brown, brown, brown.
    “I’m Sheriff Conahegg. How may I help you?” Conahegg stepped forward, all business, his hand outthrust.
    Glad-hand was Swiggly’s middle name. He pivoted and slapped his palm into Conahegg’s.
    “Well.” Swiggly smiled. “You’re the kind of public servant I’m pleased to meet.”
    “You have a problem, Mr.…?”
    Swiggly looked surprised that Conahegg didn’t know him. I could tell from Swiggly’s expression that Conahegg had slipped into the “sinner” category.
    “Swiggly. Reverend Ray Don Swiggly. Perhaps you’re familiar with my weekly television prayer program— One Step Closer to Jesus? ”
    “Sorry,” Conahegg said. “I attend local services on Sunday morning.”
    “Good man, good man.” Swiggly pounded Conahegg on the shoulder. “Let me guess, Baptist?” Swiggly had formed his own offshoot of fundamentalist Protestantism which he had dubbed The Church of the Living Jesus.
    “Catholic,” Conahegg replied.
    Swiggly drew back his hand as if he’d been introduced to the devil. “Well, long as you hear the gospel. That’s all that’s important.”
    “May I ask your business here, Reverend Swiggly?”
    Swiggly puffed out his chest. “I have come to press charges against those no-count heathens that live next door to my brand-new summer home on the banks of the glorious Brazos river, built by the grace of God, praise his name. Amen.”
    “Pardon?” Conahegg frowned.
    “He’s talking about me,” I whispered in Conahegg’s ear. “Or at least my family, but he distracted himself and took a mental side trip down the Holy Roller highway.”
    Conahegg glared at me. “Why don’t you go find your sister, Allegheny?”
    Allegheny. Why did my name trip so easily from his lips? Why did it sound so lyrical even as he was chiding me?
    Disturbed by these questions, I backed away but stayed in the immediate vicinity. Swiggly was putting on quite a show and I wanted to see what was going to happen next.
    “Are you referring to the Green family?” Conahegg asked.
    Reverend Swiggly sniffed disdainfully. “I don’t know their names.”
    “We’re the ones who called about the gunshots,” Miss Gloria ventured, barely raising her head. “We saw you arresting some of them so we came down to file a formal complaint.”
    Swiggly placed a restraining hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Miss Gloria, I’ll thank you to let me handle the matter.”
    Miss Gloria ducked her head, stared at her feet and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Ray Don.”
    I wondered why she’d been dragged along on his misadventure at two o’clock in the morning. I felt sorry for the woman. She seemed so devoid of gumption.
    “As I was saying,” Swiggly continued. “These people have all-night parties even during the week, playing that devil music and throwing their garbage over the fence onto my lawn. Do you have any idea how much it cost to have three acres of Saint Augustine grass sodded? They’re ruining itwith beer and vomit and urine. And tonight they were shooting off guns. I’m fed up, Sheriff, and I want something done.”
    Conahegg nodded and let Swiggly rant. Since I wasn’t a fan of self-righteous bitching, particularly when my family is the subject of said bitching, I figured I’d take the opportunity to search for Sissy.
    The Parker County Sheriff’s Department is not a big building. Maybe ten thousand square feet, not counting the jail facilities butted up against the main structure. There are four entrances to the place—one, the front door through which Swiggly and his wife had come. Two, the back entrance where