Santa 365 Read Online Free PDF Page B

telling us what you’re looking for.”
    â€œDon’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
    Bernie—now wearing his grandfather’s watch, actually the very first time I’d seen him do that—smiled a quick little smile, one of my very favorites of all his smiles. It meant we were winning. I eased over toward the pizza box, still on the floor. Empty.Elrood sat on a chair by the table, per Bernie’s orders; Bernie himself leaned against the wall.
    â€œGot any ID on you, Elrood?”
    â€œNope. And you can’t keep me here—you’re not the law. This is kidnapping.”
    â€œCall the cops,” Bernie said.
    The call-the-cops technique! One of my favorites. Bernie was on fire, too. Elrood glared at him, said nothing.
    â€œChet? Elrood’s going to give you his wallet.”
    What was this? Something about Elrood? Time to grab him by the pant leg again? Why not? I hurried across the room. Elrood’s eyes opened wide in alarm. He whipped out his wallet. I grabbed it in a flash and trotted over to Bernie.
    â€œGood job.” Bernie wiped the wallet on his pants—not sure why—and went through it. Not long after that, he was on the phone. “Rick? Need another favor.” He listened. “My mother’s age? Not sure I’m at liberty to reveal that.” He glanced at a plastic card he’d taken from Elrood’s wallet and said, “Run Roland Y. Blum.”
    Bernie waited. I rechecked the pizza box. Still empty. Was there any reason not to lick it? Time passed, time of the well-spent sort, and then Bernie said, “Thanks, Rick.” He put the phone away. “Elves on parole, huh, Elrood?”
    Elrood did some more glaring.
    â€œAnd what we have here—breaking and entering—would be a parole violation, not to mention the theft of the watch. So it’s back to Central State for what Rick Torres tells me would be the remaining three years of an eight-year stretch for embezzlement. Plus whatever the judge hands down on the new charges.”
    Elrood glanced down at his feet: small feet in dirty tennis shoes.
    â€œDoing the math, Elrood?”
    Elrood didn’t answer.
    â€œDid you meet Plumpy inside, by the way?”
    â€œGoddamn loser,” Elrood said.
    â€œPot calling the kettle,” Bernie said, which zipped right past me. “Doing an unnecessary three years plus spells loser to me. Right now the loser play is to keep your mouth shut. The winner play—meaning there’s a chance I let you walk out of here—is to start talking now.”
    Elrood’s eyes did some shifting around. “How do I know you’ll keep your word?”
    â€œLet’s skip this part,” Bernie said.
    Elrood did some licking of his lips. He had a yellow tongue, kind of pointy. Was he an elf or not? I was kind of confused on that.
    â€œOne point two,” he said at last, nothing at all elfish about his voice.
    â€œYou’re talking about Plumpy’s Ponzi scheme haul?”
    Elrood nodded.
    â€œOf which he’s paid restitution of one thousand fourteen dollars and eighty-one cents,” Bernie said.
    â€œThat much?” said Elrood.
    Bernie started to laugh. Then he stopped abruptly, and gave Elrood a long look.
    â€œPlumpy said he pissed it all away,” Bernie said.
    â€œUh-huh.”
    â€œBut no?” Bernie said.
    â€œHe had to do time anyway,” Elrood said, “whether he coughed up or not.”
    Bernie glanced around the wrecked kitchen. “What makes you think it’s here?”
    Elrood shrugged.
    â€œDon’t tell me you killed him?”
    â€œDo I look like a killer?”
    â€œA bit,” Bernie said. “Or maybe you beat it out of him.”
    â€œI didn’t,” Elrood said.
    â€œMeaning someone else did?”
    â€œWe didn’t have to—” Elrood shut himself off. His eyes seemed to get even closer together,