self-control.” He laughed lightly as he began to pace the stage again. “I didn’t go up to a woman and say, ‘Hey, how ya doin’?’ then hump her to death.”
Saint paused and laughed louder, causing even more laughter to erupt. “That...that is just too much.” He tried to control his own amusement, reign it in. “But when I saw my wife, and thank God she isn’t here tonight to hear this,” he snickered, “though I know she knows by now, all I could do was think about how I wanted to lay her across that damn desk she was sitting at, with all those little radio knobs ’nd shit, and fuck the shit out of her...on air, so everyone in the damn country could hear it!”
Some catcalls and whistles ensued .
“ That’s so wrong.” He waved his hand lazily around as he continued to laugh. “It was a primitive urge, from the depths of my damn loins.” He pointed to his chest. “I remember it like it was yesterday. It was like the whole damn world disappeared. All of my senses went into overdrive. I could smell her perfume; I noticed every little thing about her. I remember what she had on, clear as a bell, ’til this day! She had her nose ring, a little diamond stud. She rarely wears it now, and I found that so damn sexy but I remember all of that, and how I loved it.” He paused as he quietly reflected. “I loved everything about her because I was so fuckin’ attracted to her, it was just insane. I had never been that drawn to a woman before, ever ...” He raised his hand up as if he was being sworn in. “And I had literally just walked into the room and laid eyes on her. It was my very first time seeing her in person. I looked at her.” He paused, a smile spread across his face. He shook his head, reliving the moment. His heart skipped beats as he fell into the instant, the memory tangible, with beautiful layers of sweet emotions. “And that was it.”
Sporadic applause and more whistling rang out.
“ She got me, man.” He grinned. “I was done for. For the first time, I had to believe the myth because it had happened to me, of all people.” His fingertips danced gently along his left collarbone. “It was love at first sight. I can honestly tell you, I fell in love with my wife the very first time I laid eyes on her.”
Applause broke out.
“I felt like a wild animal. I really did because she pulled that out of me, she made me vibrate from my lowest chakra, all the way to the seventh one in a matter of seconds, and I hadn’t even kissed her yet. And the fucked up part is that even after she talked to me,” he burst out laughing, causing more applause and laughter, “even after that woman talked to me like some shit on the bottom of her damn shoe during our first meeting, I know y’all heard about that...she tried to play me, man! Talked real slick!”
The room was alive with chatter, applause and wide grins.
“Y’all should have heard, it was brutal. Talked about my mama, yo! Just low blows! She hit below the belt and I came right back after her ass, but she tried to hold her own.” He laughed louder. “My wife is a verbal combatant! Evil ass little woman...” He jested.
Now the crowd was really stirred, hanging on to every word.
“ She tried to cut my balls off and hand ’em to me for dinner, and make me say, ‘Thank you for the pleasure of being castrated.’” Saint burst out laughing so loud, he had to pause and catch his breath. “She...she was horrible to me, a maniacal person who hated my fucking guts and I loved every damn minute of it!”
There wasn’t one man in the audience who was not cracking up.
“Even after all of that, I still wanted her. She made me want her. That’s how I knew she was the one!”
Clapping vibrated and echoed throughout the auditorium.
“None of us will have the exact same experience, but that was mine. I needed a challenge. I needed a woman to get my blood boiling. She told me off, and that excited me. I didn’t need the shit to