Safe Word Read Online Free PDF

take a shower. I won’t keep you in there if you’re a good girl.”
    “Why are you doing this to me?”
    “Why not?” I asked as I pulled the door closed and secured the lock. It was hard to pretend that this girl didn’t mean something to me at one point. I was a different person back then. I was a scared little boy. I had bigger things to deal with now, and number one on that list was getting what was owed me. Rose was going to have to trust me that this was all part of a bigger plan. I would do whatever I could to get her out of it, but from the moment she stepped out onto that sidewalk, she was already involved. I wanted to open the door and tell her everything that was happening, but giving her that knowledge could get us both killed. Instead I pulled off my dark-gray T-shirt and tossed it on the counter.
    I stepped into my bathroom and turned on the sink. As I waited for the water to get cold, I looked at my own reflection. My hair was a little longer, and the blond had darkened, and my body was now covered in tattoos, but I could still see that pussy-whipped little boy looking back at me. I couldn’t go back to who I was. I had struggled for years to work past losing everyone I had cared about, and I wouldn’t go back to that.
    I splashed some water on my face and let it run down my jaw and drip onto my chest. I was no longer weak. I had worked endlessly to build myself up to be the toughest motherfucker on the block. I had made a name for myself in this world and that was who I was now. I turned off the sink and turned on the shower, hoping it would be loud enough to drown out Rose’s sobbing.
    I kept the water ice cold, washing away the memories and the anger that filled me. I needed to remember why I was doing this. I needed to keep myself focused. She wasn’t that girl and, even if she was, that girl had abandoned me. I had no love left inside and I wouldn’t throw away everything twice for someone who didn’t deserve it.
    After I had gone over the plan in my head no less than a hundred times, I got out of the shower and put my game face on.
    I wrapped a towel around my waist, leaving the water to drip off me and keep me cool. After I had avoided the situation as long as I possibly could, I pulled on a pair of gray sweatpants and grabbed the keys from my jeans so I could open the lock on the spare bedroom door. Lily sat in the far corner, curled up in a ball like countless others had before her. She was a paycheck, a means to an end.
    “Are you gonna…” The words caught in her throat, too unbearable to speak aloud.
    “I’m not a fucking rapist,” I spat as I turned and left the room, leaving the door open for her to come out. I grabbed my gun off the windowsill and stuck it in a kitchen drawer, with a false bottom, before finding a couple of cans of tuna in the cupboard. The floorboard squeaked as Lily came out of the room. I heard her pause and I knew what she was looking for.
    “You don’t think I’m stupid enough to leave the gun out for you, do you?” I asked with a laugh as I grabbed the mayonnaise from the fridge.
    “Why am I here?” she asked as she rounded the corner.
    “Are you asking the meaning of life?”
    “This isn’t funny, Cole!”
    “This isn’t a joke. This is life or fucking death,
Lily
. I am trying to save you.”
    She looked terrified. Good. Maybe she would soon understand the seriousness of the situation.
    “Sit,” I said as I pulled out the bread from the cabinet. She took a seat on one of the bar stools on the other side of the counter.
    “Save me from who?” Her voice broke.
    “From me, darlin’.” I slid the plate in front of her. “Now eat.”
    I took my plate into the living room and sat down on the couch. I couldn’t eat next to her like we were friends. I needed to keep my distance. Just the smell of her triggered painful memories.
    “Who was that guy? The coworker?”
    “Just a coworker. We both teach history at Jameson High.” She took