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McDonald's next year," Zealon said ingenuously. "Then we'll be just like every other planet in the quadrant!"
    "Ah, yes, progress," Scalia said with a sigh. "Zealon has encouraged me to seek a franchise, though I'm not quite sure what manner of food they will serve here. I understand that they sell meat sandwiches made from cow flesh," she said with obvious distaste. "We do not have cows."
    "Oh, I think any kind of meat will do," I said. "And it doesn't have to be meat, either; what they serve usually depends on the local cuisine. You can make hamburgers out of just about anything if you try hard enough."
    Scalia nodded. "We are striving to become a more open, cultural society. This, along with the influx of other life forms, has been my wish for some time now, though there are those who oppose it."
    "And that's why I'm here, then?"
    "Yes," the Queen replied. "It is my wish to improve the music education of our young, beginning with my own daughter as an example."
    "So," I said, turning to Zealon, "what do you think of all of this?"
    "I want to learn to play well," she said firmly. "I will do my best."
    "I can't ask for more than that." Having the desire to excel was half the battle when it came to training young musicians. I wondered how well she'd be able to read music, which put me in mind of something else. "Do you all speak Stantongue? I know many worlds have adopted it as their official language, but have you?"
    "Oh, yes," Scalia assured me. "For many years now.
    It is one of the best ways to encourage trade."
    "Well, that and having something to sell," I conceded.
    "Our stones are sought after by many," said Scalia, "but we have only just begun to market them to other worlds."
    This made me wonder if she had traded some of the rarer ones for her exotic slaves. If she was interested in progress, she was probably going to have to abandon her rather barbaric hobby in favor of something more universally acceptable, like collecting coins.
    I tasted some of the fruits and found them to be quite edible. Everything was either in its natural state or sun-dried; if anything had been cooked, you couldn't tell it, and the water, as well as the food, was served at room temperature. No one had cut up the fruits and vegetables, either, so if you wanted to eat something peeled or chopped, you had to do it yourself. I watched Scalia and Zealon carefully, noting which ones they peeled before eating and tried to follow their example, but I would have given a lot for a little salad dressing—along with some ice. Apparently "cuisine" of any kind would have been lost on them—even something as simple as a fruit salad. Of course, the food required no energy to prepare, which, on a world that seemed to have very little in the way of combustible fuel lying about, would be a definite plus. The new McDonald's should prove to be interesting.
    They did, however, serve what Scalia told me was a locally produced wine, which I found to be delightfully sweet and fruity, but deceptively potent.
    After dinner, Scalia sent Zealon off to bed, telling her that she needed to rest well before embarking on her new career as a concert pianist. I seconded that and was then left alone with the Queen, who wasted no time in introducing a new topic for discussion—one which she probably considered unfit for young ears, just as the wine was for young palates.
    "Tell me about your human males," she said, as the little toad-slave poured out more of the wine. "I understand that they are very... desirable."
    "You're asking the wrong person," I said candidly.
    "I'm single, remember?"
    She nodded. "Yes, I knew that, but tell me, are they less volatile than our males?"
    "I doubt it," I replied. "They get into trouble all the time. Of course, women do, too, so I can't really say that men are the root of all evil." I took a sip of the wine—it would have been impolite not to—but I'd have to watch how much I drank of it, or I might find myself out of a job.
    "Is it true