trying to tell you that I am pregnant. Yesterday I did one of those home pregnancy tests and this morning I went to Dr. Vandermer.â
For a minute Adam was too shocked to speak.
âYouâre kidding,â he said at last.
âIâm not kidding,â said Jennifer, meeting his eyes. She could feel her heart beating out a rapid rhythm. Involuntarily sheâd clenched her hands into fists.
âYouâre not kidding?â said Adam, uncertain whether he was about to laugh or cry. âYouâre serious?â
âIâm serious. Believe me, Iâm serious.â Jenniferâs voice shook. Sheâd hoped that Adam would be happy, at least at first. Later they could deal with the host of problems the pregnancy would bring. Jennifer got up, walked around to Adam, and put her hands on his shoulders.
âHoney, I love you very much.â
âI love you, too, Jennifer,â said Adam. âBut that is not the issue.â He stood up, shrugging off her hands.
âI think it is the issue,â said Jennifer, watching him move away. More than anything she wantedto be held and reassured that everything was going to be all right.
âWhat about your IUD?â asked Adam.
âIt didnât work. I guess we should think of this baby as some sort of miracle.â Jennifer forced herself to smile.
Adam began to pace the small room. A baby! How could they have a baby? They were just barely keeping their heads above water as it was. They were already close to twenty thousand dollars in debt.
Jennifer watched Adam silently. From the moment sheâd left Dr. Vandermerâs office she had feared Adamâs reaction. That was why she had dreamed up the idea of the celebration dinner. But now that the meal was over she was left with the reality that she was pregnant and her husband was not very pleased.
âYou always wanted to have children,â she said plaintively.
Stopping in the middle of the threadbare carpet, Adam looked at his wife. âWhether I want to have children is also not the issue. Of course I want children, but not now. I mean, how are we going to live? Youâll have to stop dancing immediately, right?â
âSoon,â admitted Jennifer.
âWell, there you have it! What are we going to do for money? Itâs not as if I can get a newspaper route after school. Oh God, what a mess. I donât believe it.â
âThereâs always my family,â said Jennifer, fighting back tears.
Adam looked up. His lips had narrowed.
Jennifer saw his expression and quickly added, âI know how you have felt about acceptingsupport from my family, but if we have a child it will be different. I know they would adore helping us.â
âOh, sure!â said Adam sarcastically.
âReally,â said Jennifer. âI went home this afternoon and spoke to them. My father said that we are welcome to come and live in their house in Englewood. Goodness knows, itâs big enough. Then as soon as I can get back to dancing or you start your residency, we can move out.â
Adam closed his eyes and hit the top of his head with a closed fist. âI donât believe this is happening.â
âMy mother will enjoy having us,â added Jennifer. âBecause of the baby she lost, sheâs particularly concerned about me.â
âThereâs no connection,â snapped Adam. âShe had a Downâs baby because she was well into her thirties.â
âShe knows. Itâs just the way she feels. Oh, Adam! It wouldnât be so bad. Weâll have plenty of space, and you could use the attic room as a study.â
âNo!â shouted Adam. âThank you very much but we are not accepting charity from your parents. They already interfere in our life too much. Everything in this goddam dump is from your parents,â he said, gesturing around the room.
In the midst of her anxiety Jennifer felt anger stirring. At