Bennett, he'd be ahead of where he was now. So, if he went with Bennett to the otherworld, what would it really cost him? He knew how to make the transition himself; it was not as though he'd be trapped there. If he didn't like what Bennett had in mind, he could just leave.
"All right. I'll go with you."
Bennett nodded solemnly. "Gather what you wish to take."
"Hold on. There's something I'd like to do first."
"What?"
"It's personal."
Bennett shrugged, then he smiled. Now that he had John's agreement, his mood seemed more expansive. "Just don't take long."
CHAPTER 2
Holger heard voices. The voices were familiar, though not so intimate as Holger remembered them. He didn't hear such intimate voices so frequently now. He listened to these voices, taking in their rise and fall, stops and starts, all the tones and cadences, recognizing Gilmore the psych and Major Chartain. He concentrated on the sound, and the voices came to his ears more clearly. They were talking about the test. Chartain was expressing reservations about I lolger's readiness.
Holger smiled to himself. Ready? He was more than ready. He'd been cooped up in rehab too long. He was tired of the white walls and the fussing labcoats, the constant buzzing of the air-conditioning and the goddamn controlled diet, the pointless physical therapy and the even more pointless psych evaluations, and the smells: the deadly clean, deceptive, antiseptic smells. Oh, he was ready. He wanted to see the sun again. He hadn't seen the sun since the accident.
The accident...
He didn't remember much about his accident. Traumatic stress reaction, the doctors said. There were bits of memory floating around in his head. He remembered lights and heat, pressure and pain. Voices. All a jumble. A needle? Too confused. They called it a training accident, but he wasn't always sure that they were telling him the truth. Sometimes the Department put a spin on things. Deceptive. It might not have been a training accident. The Department...
If only he could remember clearly. He remembered ...
He remembered that he had been with Department M for a long time. This wasn't the first time that he had been injured. But the Department had always come through. Departmen M had always taken care of him, because he was one of their own; the Department always took care of their own. He felt good about that. He liked being a part of Department M. It was the best posting he'd had since he joined the Services.
He listened again to the voices on the other side of the door. Chartain was unsure. Gilmore clattered at a keyboard while he argued. The clattering stopped and Gilmore announced that the scenario was set. Chartain remained unsure about Holger's readiness. Well, Holger would show him. This test was his ticket out of hospital and back to active duty. He would show Chartain. Holger Kun was ready for duty again, and nothing, certainly not Major Chartain's doubts, was going to stop him from proving it.
The test he faced was a trial to ensure that he was ready for service again. It would start here, but would move outside to the real world—a real world he was anxious to see again. Being out in the real world added a complexity that just couldn't be duplicated inside a virtual theater. Besides, a virtual theater couldn't test a man's physical limits. Still, the Department's sponsors didn't sanction "live" testing, although Holger suspected that they knew of its existence and, for their own reasons, looked the other way. Live tests had been a part of the European Community Secret Service from the early, bad old days when there wasn't enough budget to train in controlled environments. It was tradition now, a rite of passage. Holger had been through it when he'd completed his basic training, and again after he'd taken the Department's special training course.
This test was just another hurdle for him. The scenario was simple. He was to retrieve some information from the facility's computer, simulating a