Riotous Assembly Read Online Free PDF Page B

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    had been right in his reports to Pretoria after all. He had shown astonishing

    perspicacity. Miss Hazelstone and her Zulu bloody cook were indeed capable of ending

    three hundred years of White Supremacy in Southern Africa. Worse still he, Kommandant van

    Heerden, would be held responsible.
    At last, after gazing long and prayerfully into the face of a moth-eaten hyena

    which, in his distracted state of mind, he assumed to be a portrait of Sir Theophilus in

    his younger days, the Kommandant mustered his last remaining faculties and turned back

    to his tormentor. He would make one last attempt to make the old bitch see her duty as a

    lady and a white woman and deny that she had ever entertained anything more lethal or

    passionate than mildly critical thoughts towards her Zulu cook.
    Miss Hazelstone had completed her catalogue of Fivepence’s virtues as a sentimental

    and spiritual companion. She had begun to describe the cook’s attributes as a physical

    and sensual lover, a sharer of her bed and satisfier of her sexual appetites which

    were, the Kommandant was to discover to his disgust, prodigious and, in his view,

    perverse to the point of enormity.
    “Of course, we did have our little difficulties to begin with,” she was saying. “There

    were little incompatibilities in our attitudes, not to mention our physical

    attributes. A man of your experience, Kommandant, will naturally know what I mean.”
    The Kommandant, whose experience of sex was limited to an annual visit to a

    brothel in Lourenço Marques on his summer holiday, but whose experience of Zulus was

    fairly extensive, thought that he knew what she meant and hoped to hell that he didn’t.
    “To begin with Fivepence suffered from ejaculatio praecox,” Miss Hazelstone

    continued clinically. For a brief, all too short moment the Kommandant’s lack of Latin

    and his limited knowledge of medicine spared him the full implications of this remark.

    Miss Hazelstone hastened to explain.
    “He used to have emissions prematurely,” she said, and when the Kommandant ventured

    to suggest incomprehendingly that, in his humble opinion, Fivepence could not have gone

    to mission prematurely enough considering his filthy habits in later life, Miss

    Hazelstone stooped to the level of the stable and explained in language the Kommandant

    was forced, however unwillingly, to recognize as all too intelligible.
    “He used to ejaculate almost as soon as I touched him,” she continued remorselessly,

    and mistaking the Kommandant’s look of abject horror for an indication that he still

    didn’t grasp her meaning, she administered the coup de grâce to his dumbfounded

    sensibilities.
    “He used to come before he could get his prick into me,” she said, and as she said it, the

    Kommandant seemed to be aware, as in some ghastly nightmare, that the corners of Miss

    Hazelstone’s mouth turned upwards in a slight smile of happy remembrance.
    He knew now that Miss Hazelstone was clean out of her mind. He was about to say that she

    had blown her top, but the phrase, being all too reminiscent of Fivepence’s disgusting

    propensity, not to mention his ultimate fate, was throttled on the threshold of his

    consciousness.
    “In the end we got over the problem,” Miss Hazelstone went on. “First of all I got him to

    wear three contraceptives, one on top of the other, to desensitize his glans penis and

    that was quite satisfactory from my point of view though it tended to restrict his

    circulation a teeny bit and he did complain that he couldn’t feel very much. After an

    hour I would get him to take one off and that helped him a bit and finally he would take the

    second off and we would have a simultaneous orgasm.” She paused and wagged a finger

    mischievously at the stupefied Kommandant who was desperately trying to raise enough

    energy to call a halt to these appalling disclosures. “But that wasn’t the end of it,” she

    went