Rickshaw Boy: A Novel Read Online Free PDF

and immediately put into practice. The night was so dark that no one could have seen him, and there wasn’t a pressing need for him to act right away; but he couldn’t wait, since he did not know what time it was. For all he knew, daybreak wasn’t far off. He was avoiding mountain paths, so once the sun came out, he’d have no place to hide. If he traveled during the day, he’d have to convince people that he was a coal miner. That’s what he thought, so that’s what he did, and it made him feel better, as if the danger had passed and he’d soon be back in Beiping. He had to make his way into the city, and soon; with no money and no food, time was his worst enemy. Another idea came to him: he’d save energy, which would help stave off hunger, if he rode one of the camels. But he wasn’t sure he could manage. The ride would be steady enough, but he’d first have to find a way to get the camel to kneel. Nothing was more important than time, and that would be more trouble than it was worth. Besides, if he was up there, he couldn’t see the ground in front; if the camel stumbled, it would take him with it. No, just keep walking.
    He had a sense that he was on a highway but could not be sure exactly where he was or in which direction he was walking. The late night, the exhaustion of many days, and the risks of running away made him uneasy in mind and body. After walking awhile, his steps steady and slow, his body began to demand sleep. As a chill penetrated the darkness, uncertainties multiplied. He kept looking down at the ground, which seemed to his eye to undulate, though every even step belied that vision; extreme caution and the tricks his mind was playing on him disturbed him to the point of visible agitation. Might as well stop looking down, he thought, and concentrate on what’s ahead. He shuffled forward, feet dragging on the ground. He couldn’t see a thing, as if all the darkness in the world were waiting there for him. Each step in the darkness took him into more of the same; the camels followed without making a sound.
    As he grew accustomed to the dark, his mind seemed to stop functioning and he could no longer keep his eyes open. Was he still walking, or had he stopped? All he sensed was a wavelike motion in his head, like black ocean swells; the darkness attached itself to his mind, unsettled, flustered, confused. Suddenly he was jolted awake, as if something had occurred to him, maybe a sound, he couldn’t be sure. He opened his eyes, and he knew at once that he was still walking—the momentary thought was gone. Nothing was happening anywhere around him. His heart lurched for a second before he calmed down. Keep your eyes open, he told himself, and no wild thoughts. Getting into the city as quickly as possible is all that matters. But his mind would not cooperate. His eyelids kept drooping, and he knew he had to think of something quick to stay awake. If he could lie down, he could sleep for three days. Think, he said, think. His head was reeling, his body was uncomfortably wet, his scalp itched, his feet were sore, and his mouth was dry and bitter-tasting. The best he could come up with was self-pity, but even that seemed impossible, since his head was empty; he no sooner had thoughts about himself than he forgot them, like a dying candle that won’t light. Enveloped by darkness, he felt as if he were floating inside a black cloud. Though he was aware of his existence and that he was walking forward, there was no evidence of where he was headed. He was like a man tossed about on the open sea, no longer able to believe in himself. Never in his life had he felt so bewildered, so downhearted, so very alone. Never one to place much importance on friends, he feared nothing, no matter what it was, so long as he was out in the light of day, with the sun shining down on him. Even now he felt no fear, but the inability to make necessary decisions was more than he could bear. If the camels had been as