right person. Not a doubt of it. I must be going. My work has piled up while Iâve been away.â
He departed fast, urgently needing to get away from Giorgioâs sharp eyes that saw too much for comfort.
Upstairs, he headed for his bedroom, but paused before entering. The room allocated to Natasha was just across the corridor and he went to stand outside, looking at her door, wondering what was happening behind it.
The evening had torn his nerves to shreds. The woman heâd met had been as unlike the sweet, charming girl he remembered as steel was unlike cream. His heart told him it was impossible that they should be the same person, but his brain groaned and said it was true.
This was the heartless creature who had vanished without giving him a chance to defend himself, leaving him to hunt frantically for weeks until heâd realised that it was hopeless. And her manner towards him had left no doubt that she was enjoying her triumph.
A sensible man would have sent her away at once. Instead, heâd prevented her leaving, driven by instincts he didnât understand, nor want to face.
From behind her door came only silence. He moved closer, raising his hand to knock, then dropping it again. This wasnât the right moment.
Instead of going into his room, he turned away again and went downstairs into the garden, hoping some time in the night air would clear the confusion in his mind. But also doubting that anything would ever be clear again.
* * *
Natasha paced her room restlessly. After such a day she should have been ready to collapse into sleep, but her nerves were tense and she feared to lie awake all night, thinking the very thoughts she wanted to avoid.
Mario had blamed her for disappearing without giving him a chance to defend himself, and in so doing heâd touched a nerve.
Perhaps I should have let him say something
, she thought.
Why didnât I?
Because Iâm my motherâs daughter
, said another voice in her mind
. And I canât help living by the lessons she taught me. Never trust a man. Donât believe his explanation because itâll be lies and youâll only suffer more. In fact, donât let him explain at all. Never, never give him a second chance.
Sheâd fled Mario because she feared to listen to what he might have to say. Thinking the worst of him felt safer. That was the sad truth.
But now, meeting him again and getting a sense of his torment, she felt uneasy about her own actions.
âNo,â she said. âNo, Iâm not going down that road. Whatâs done is done. Itâs over.â
In the last year sheâd often suffered from insomnia and had resorted to some herbal sleeping pills. She took them out now, considering.
âIâm not lying awake fretting over him. This is war.â
She swallowed two pills but, instead of going to bed, she went outside for a few minutes. The tall window opened onto a balcony where she could stand and look down on a narrow strip of garden. There were flowers, a few trees and beyond them the Adige River, glowing in the evening light. Now it was easy to slip into the balcony scene and become Juliet, yearning over the man whoâd captured her heart before she knew who he was. When sheâd realised that sheâd fallen in love with an enemy, it was too late.
âToo late,â she murmured. âThe last thing I wanted was to meet him again. I came here to start a new life.
Mario, Mario, wherefore art thou, Mario?
But it had to be you, didnât it? When Iâm looking forward to meeting new people, you have to pop up.
Wherefore did thou do this, varlet?
â
In her agitation she said the words aloud. Alarmed at herself, she retreated through the window, shutting it firmly.
* * *
Outside, all was quiet. Darkness was falling, and there was nobody to notice Mario standing, alone and silent, beneath the trees. He had come straight into the garden after leaving Natashaâs
Michele Boldrin;David K. Levine