me.”
Brian pulled a face as if she had said something particularly ridiculous. He was good at making her feel ridiculous.
The flame flared up a notch.
“Well, I’ve changed my mind. We only have six weeks left on the lease, and I’m sick and tired of roughing it in this hovel with nothing to do. Hamish says I can help him with his antique export business—he says I’d make an excellent front man.”
“But you said you wanted a holiday! That you’d take a break from work so that we could spend time together.” Not that Brian ever worked at any job for very long; he was always trying to “find” himself and so far the perfect profession had proved elusive. “You said you hated antiques.”
“Did I?” Brian’s voice was doubtful, as if she were making the mistake, not him.
“Brian, how can you change your mind like this?”
“I’m bored.”
The silence was painful. Everything was falling apart and she couldn’t seem to find the words to make it right—she didn’t know if she wanted to.
“Let’s pack now.” He was smiling again, pretending it was just a minor hiccup. The liar. “We can be in Edinburgh by—”
“No.”
The word surprised her as much as Brian, but as soon as she said it she knew it was the right one. For the first time Brian appeared uncertain, as if he might not get his way.
“No,” she repeated it, and it felt even better. “I like it here. My writing is going well. I actually feel as if I’m in touch with my muse again. I’m not leaving now, Brian.”
That look again, as if he could hardly believe his ears. “Your muse?” he repeated, and shook his head. Bella could hear his thoughts; he didn’t have to say them aloud. We both know you’re wasting your time.You’re just a poor little rich girl playing at being a writer. When will you face reality?
“You know how hard it’s been for me over the past year,” she tried again. “I hadn’t been able to write since I finished Martin’s Journey , but being here…it’s as if…” she struggled to make him understand. To understand herself. “As if I’ve found myself again. This book is important to me, Brian. I need these six weeks.”
“You can write just as well in Edinburgh,” he said sulkily.
“No, I can’t. There’s something about this place—”
“You mean apart from the plumbing?”
Had he made a joke? For a moment Bella thought it would be all right, and then Brian reached out and clasped her hands and she knew he hadn’t given in. He wouldn’t give in. He never did. It was always Bella who gave in, because it was not in her nature to confront, and she hated arguments.
Lassie, that’s just pathetic , said a voice in her head, and it sounded like the Black Maclean’s. Or how she imagined he would sound, if he were not two and a half centuries dead.
“Come on, Bella,” Brian said, smiling, earnest. “I’ve known you for years. Your father asked me to look after you when he died, he always said we were meant for each other. I understand you.”
Her cheeks felt hot. “You don’t understand me any more than he did, Brian.”
Her father had never believed in her, either, although he had dutifully loved her, and left her a sizable legacy when he died.
“I need to get out of here, Bella,” Brian was saying. “It’s driving me mad. I want to give the antiques thing a try, and Hamish and Georgiana will put us up until we can find our own place. Someplace where I won’t be ashamed to bring my friends.”
“Or is it me you’re ashamed of?” She cut angrily through his words.
He laughed uncomfortably, but the truth was in his eyes. Once he had found pleasure in her rather quaint, old-fashioned manner, but no more. Now he wanted someone like Georgiana, svelte and sophisticated. Out with the old, in with the new.
“We can explore the city,” he was saying. “We can eat out, party. Live it up. You’ll love it, Bella, really.”
“I’ll hate it,” she said quietly, and