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spoke to me.
    ‘Just in case you have only temporarily lost all your ball bearings, I’ll give you a quick rundown. If your memory suddenly returns then tell me and we’ll talk about something else.’
    ‘Go ahead then,’ I said. And Omally did so.
    ‘As far as I remember this,’ he said, ‘and frankly I never did pay too much attention to it at school, because it was history. And who’s interested in history? As far as I remember it, it was getting to the end of the Second World War. And there’d been the D-Day Landings and the British and American troops were pushing across Europe towards Berlin, when everything went arse-up’ards, as it were. Mr Hitler unleashed the ultimate terror weapon and that was that!’
    And he took another toke upon his cigarette and took once more to coughing.
    ‘That, I regret, is insufficient information,’ I sufficiently informed him.
    ‘The bomb,’ said Omally.
    ‘As in atomic bomb?’ I said.
    ‘That would be the lad, yes.’
    ‘The Americans dropped two,’ I said. ‘One on Hiroshima, one on Nagasaki. The bombs were called “Little Boy” and “Fat Man”, the aeroplane that dropped “Little Boy” was called the Enola Gay.’
    ‘You have a vivid imagination, I’ll say that for you,’ said Omally.
    ‘But no, that didn’t happen. The Germans invented the atom bomb first. Wotan invented it for them. And they bombed America with it. Wiped out America. A nuclear desert, it is.’
    ‘A what?’ I went. And I coughed a-plenty. ‘It is a what, did you say?’
    ‘ America?’ said John. ‘Destroyed,’ he continued. ‘All gone. And with it the war. We put our hands up. Gave in. The war was lost. England was invaded and a German Government installed. And we grew up under this Government, you and me. Don’t you remember anything, Jim? We played at war in this very barge. This was our HQ hideout. Our bunker. In our war against the Russians.’
    ‘We are at war with the Russians?’ My head was now spinning. This was all too much.
    ‘No, we’re not at war with them. But they are the enemy. Commies are the enemy. We were certainly taught that at school. Every damn day, if I recall correctly. And I do. Very much so.’
    ‘ America destroyed,’ I said. ‘I cannot believe it. It is too awful.’
    ‘Could have been worse,’ said John.
    ‘Could have been worse?’ I said.
    ‘Could have been us,’ said John. ‘They could have nuked England as an encore, or instead.’
    And I shook my head. ‘And I do not remember any of this, not one jot.’
    Omally shook his head a bit also. ‘Well, Jim,’ he said, and he said it slowly, ‘you’re not exactly yourself, are you? You went down to Brighton for a St Valentine’s weekend, got thrown into the sea and ambulanced back the next day. And what did you tell me? That you had spent an entire year away, saving the world in the company of a Mr Hugo Ruin.’
    ‘Rune,’ I said. ‘Hugo Rune. The Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived.’
    ‘But you were only gone for a single day. I can attest to this. And Norman. And your Aunt Edna. The odds are somewhat stacked against you, Jim. You would appear to be a group of one.’
    ‘Do you think I have gone mad, John?’
    ‘You were in the Special Ward of the Cottage Hospital, Jim. That is where they put the, er, troubled people.’
    ‘I am not mad, John. I have never felt less mad. Never more scared. But never less mad.’
    ‘Whatever you say, my friend. You are my friend, after all, and I’ll stick by you come what may. But you are wrong on this one, you really are. So let’s both hope you get better.’
    And I shrugged my shoulders. ‘Get better?’ I said. ‘Yes, I suppose “get better” will do. I cannot see how things can get any worse.’
    And would not you know it?
    Or would not you not-
    ‘Achtung! Achtung! Come out with your hands held high,’ came an amplified bullhorn sort of a voice. ‘Come out at once, or we’ll send in the hounds.’

5
    ‘As your memory