Retief Unbound Read Online Free PDF Page B

prisoners."
    "Prisoners? But we have no
prisoners."
    "Sure you have. Me. Is it a
deal?"
    "Ah, yes, of course. Quite
equitable. What guarantees do you require?"
    "The word of a gentleman is
sufficient." Retief released his captive. It flopped once and disappeared
into the darkness.
    "If you'd care to accompany me
to our headquarters," the voice said, "we can discuss our mutual
concerns in comfort."
    "Delighted."
    Red lights blinked briefly. Retief,
glimpsing a gap in the thorny barrier, stepped through it. He followed dim
shapes across warm sand to a low cave-like entry, faintly lit with a reddish
glow.
    "I must apologize for the
awkward design of our comfort- dome," said the voice. "Had we known
we would be honored by a visit."
    "Think nothing of it,"
Retief said. "We diplomats are trained to crawl."
    Inside, with knees bent and head
ducked under the five- foot ceiling, Retief looked around at the walls of
pink-toned nacre, a floor like burgundy-colored glass spread with silken rugs,
and a low table of polished red granite set out with silver dishes and
rose-crystal drinking tubes.
    "Let me congratulate
you," the voice said. Retief turned. An immense Flap-jack, hung with
crimson trappings, rippled at his side. The voice issued from a disk strapped
to its back. "Your skirmish-forms fight well. I think we will find in each
other worthy adversaries."
    "Thanks. I'm sure the test
would be interesting, but I'm hoping we can avoid it."
    "Avoid it?" Retief heard
a low humming coming from the speaker in the silence. "Well, let us
dine," the mighty Flapjack said at last, "we can resolve these
matters later. I am called Hoshick of the Mosaic of the Two Dawns."
    "I'm Retief." Hoshick
waited expectantly. "... of the Mountain of Red Tape," Retief added.
    "Take your place,
Retief," said Hoshick. "I hope you won't find our rude couches
uncomfortable." Two other large Flap-jacks came into the room and communed
silently with Hoshick. "Pray forgive our lack of translating
devices," he said to Retief. "Permit me to introduce my
colleagues."
    A small Flap-jack rippled into the
chamber bearing on its back a silver tray, laden with aromatic food. The waiter
served the diners and filled the drinking tubes with yellow wine.
    "I trust you’ll find these
dishes palatable," Hoshick said. "Our metabolisms are much alike, I
believe." Retief tried the food; it had a delicious nut-like flavor. The
wine was indistinguishable from Chateau d'Yquem.
    "It was an unexpected pleasure
to encounter your party here," Hoshick said. "I confess at first we
took you for an indigenous earth-grubbing form, but we were soon disabused of
that notion." He raised a tube, manipulating it deftly with his fringe
tentacles. Retief returned the salute and drank.
    "Of course," Hoshick
continued, "as soon as we realized that you were sportsmen like ourselves,
we attempted to make amends by providing a bit of activity for you. We've
ordered out our heavier equipment and a few trained skirmishers and soon we'll
be able to give you an adequate show, or so I hope."
    "Additional skirmishers?"
said Retief. "How many, if you don't mind my asking?"
    "For the moment, perhaps only
a few hundred. Thereafter . . . well, I'm sure we can arrange that between us.
Personally I would prefer a contest of limited scope—no nuclear or
radiation-effect weapons. Such a bore, screening the spawn for deviations.
Though I confess we've come upon some remarkably useful sports: the ranger-form
such as you made captive, for example. Simple-minded, of course, but a
fantastically keen tracker."
    "Oh, by all means,"
Retief said. "No atomics. As you pointed out, spawn-sorting is a nuisance,
and then too, it's wasteful of troops."
    "Ah, well, they are after all
expendable. But we agree, no atomics. Have you tried the ground-gwack eggs?
Rather a speciality of my Mosaic ..."
    "Delicious," said Retief.
"I wonder if you've considered eliminating weapons altogether?"
    A scratchy sound issued from the
disk. "Pardon my