I said and there was a slight pause as she looked through paperwork.
"Hold for K," she said and there was only a small silence before the line picked up again.
"Maisy," K's smooth voice met my ear, sounding a little winded and I imagine he had been training. He usually was. "How'd it go?"
"I'm in. Just barely. Reign didn't want me," I said, holding a handful of panties with a feeling of ridiculous insecurity. I grabbed an old tee and stuffed the undies inside, then wrapped them up out of sight then stuffed the whole of it at the very bottom of my bag.
"You convinced him?"
"No. There was a woman there. Cash's woman. And she got pissed that they were going to turn me down and then she went into the compound and got Reign and Wolf's women and they all threw such a fit that Reign got sick of it and let me in."
There was a second of silence. "That won't help you beyond this point. If I know anything about these guys, you're in for a tough ride. They don't want a woman in their ranks so they are going to do everything in their power to get you to quit."
"Yeah," I agreed, feeling a pit of uncertainty settle in my belly.
"Maisy, you need to focus. Stop stressing out. This is what we trained for. This is not a choice. This is a necessity for your safety."
"I know," I said, my voice decidedly defeated-sounding.
"Maze," his voice held warning.
"I am going to do what it takes to gain the trust of the members. I am going to gain the favor of Reign and I am going to get a patch that guarantees my present and future safety," I recited.
"Because if you don't..."
"If I don't, they might find me."
"And if they find you..."
"They can't find me."
"Because if they find you, you are going to die Maisy," he said, his tone even. It was brutal, but it was true. K wasn't in the business of sugar-coating facts or handling you with kid gloves. That wasn't why you went to him. You went to him because there was nowhere else to turn. You went to him because he was who you went to when there was no hope. He was the one person who was willing to take on the lost causes and dedicate his time to giving us a chance.
In return, we were given no softness.
I learned to love the sandpaper sensation of his words.
Because I learned what they were doing. They were scraping away the me I used to be: weak, naive, gullible, clueless and replacing it with the woman I needed to be to survive.
"Okay K. I have to get back. We all have a meeting with Repo in about fifteen and I'm clear across town."
"I want an update in two days. Then we will set up a new system."
"Got it. Thanks, K," I said, feeling the gratitude down to my bones. But K wasn't the touchy-feely kind of guy and I knew that if I went and got all gushy on him, he would make me start repeating my mantras.
"Stay safe and kick ass," he said before the silence told me he hung up.
I slung my bag over my shoulder, feeling the weight of it. Not just the clothes and books, but the fact that it was literally all I had in the world anymore. I had a bug-out bag stashed in a locker at a train station in Pennsylvania in case something happened and I needed to get out of town with nothing but the clothes on my back.
There were no more mementos. I didn't have any of the furniture I had spent months online pinning and un-pinning and re-pinning on Pinterest before finally purchasing. I didn't have the funky street art I had bought when I was walking one evening on my way home from work. I would never see the pair of pearl earrings that had been on my nightstand, a gift from my grandmother on my seventeenth birthday, again.
Ignoring the stabbing sensation in my chest and the burning behind my eyes that threatened tears, I ran across the parking lot and threw myself on my loathed motorcycle and made my way back toward The Henchmen compound.
My home.
"Augh," I growled at the idea as I pulled up to the gates, parked, and went inside.
"Just like a chick to be late," Moose grumbled as I walked past.
"I