understand why I had to let you go. If only we had more time together. Someone else will lengthen your clothes, buy you new shoes, tie your hair. Did it grow into curls as you always hoped it would? I miss you already. I will miss having to nag you for coming in late.I will miss complaining about your messy room, or you not doing your homework. I will miss your first grown-up party. Will you still love to dance?
Please try to understand, Marianne, why I must miss all your growing up, all these special things. Because, I love you. I want to give you the very best life there is, and that means a chance to grow up in a free country. Here there is only fear.
I pray that you, and all the children whose parents send them away, will find loving families. I will think of you every day, and wish for your happiness, and that you will grow up into a good honorable person.
Wherever you are, wherever I am, at night we will be looking at the same sky.
Always, your loving Mutti
She folded up the letter carefully and put it back in her suitcase. She knew she would never own anything more precious than this. Marianne had to wipe her eyes before she could continue writing her own letter.
“I’m fine.”
Will Mutti know this is a lie? I’m not fine. I’m afraid.
Not afraid of being beaten up in the streets by gangs of Hitler Youth, nor the kind of fear she’d felt when she saw the body of the man tumbling down from the window of his house in the square. This was a kind of fear she’d never experienced before – wanting to cry all the time because she didn’t know what to do, or what was expected of her; not knowing how long it would bebefore Mutti could come for her; afraid because she did not belong anywhere and was trying not to show how strange she felt in this English house.
“Please give my love to everyone .” Marianne underlined the word twice. “Don’t worry about me. I know you’ll try to come here soon.
Much love and many kisses,
From Marianne”
When Marianne asked Gladys where to post her letter, Gladys said, “Turn right at the end of the street. The pillar-box is around the corner; it’s red.” Marianne found the way easily.
She’d be brave, walk on and explore a bit. There was nothing else for her to do. She hadn’t seen any books or games when she was dusting.
Marianne walked along the High Street. The shops were crowded, and so were the pavements. Some windows already had Christmas decorations in them. Marianne looked for a bookshop, and found one. It was much bigger than the one her father used to work in. She looked eagerly at the display. At the top of a pyramid of books was a familiar red cover –
Mein Kampf
by Adolf Hitler. The black swastika looked huge. It stared at her.
Suddenly Marianne began to run, pushing through the shoppers as if Hitler himself were after her. She did not stop until she had a pain in her side, and her lungs hurt. She leaned against some park railings to catch her breath. She must stop being so silly. Her father always talked about “freedom to choose.” Thiswas a free country, so bookshops could sell anything they wanted to. But why choose that book?
Marianne went inside the park. It didn’t look like a place to be afraid of. A river wound in curves through the green lawns. Fat ducks swam among reeds, or sheltered under overhanging trees. Unexpected fountains, small ornate bridges, and paving stones in intricate patterns surprised her. A small girl bowling a red hoop just avoided crashing into her. “Be careful,” called the girl’s mother. Marianne knew what the words meant from the woman’s gesture. She thought longingly of the times she’d groaned when Mutti told her to be careful. She’d give anything to hear it now.
An old lady was feeding pigeons. She made room on the bench for Marianne to sit down, then carefully poured some bird seed from a paper bag into Marianne’s hand. A pigeon alighted on Marianne’s wrist. A small boy with a red kite ran
Please try to understand, Marianne, why I must miss all your growing up, all these special things. Because, I love you. I want to give you the very best life there is, and that means a chance to grow up in a free country. Here there is only fear.
I pray that you, and all the children whose parents send them away, will find loving families. I will think of you every day, and wish for your happiness, and that you will grow up into a good honorable person.
Wherever you are, wherever I am, at night we will be looking at the same sky.
Always, your loving Mutti
She folded up the letter carefully and put it back in her suitcase. She knew she would never own anything more precious than this. Marianne had to wipe her eyes before she could continue writing her own letter.
“I’m fine.”
Will Mutti know this is a lie? I’m not fine. I’m afraid.
Not afraid of being beaten up in the streets by gangs of Hitler Youth, nor the kind of fear she’d felt when she saw the body of the man tumbling down from the window of his house in the square. This was a kind of fear she’d never experienced before – wanting to cry all the time because she didn’t know what to do, or what was expected of her; not knowing how long it would bebefore Mutti could come for her; afraid because she did not belong anywhere and was trying not to show how strange she felt in this English house.
“Please give my love to everyone .” Marianne underlined the word twice. “Don’t worry about me. I know you’ll try to come here soon.
Much love and many kisses,
From Marianne”
When Marianne asked Gladys where to post her letter, Gladys said, “Turn right at the end of the street. The pillar-box is around the corner; it’s red.” Marianne found the way easily.
She’d be brave, walk on and explore a bit. There was nothing else for her to do. She hadn’t seen any books or games when she was dusting.
Marianne walked along the High Street. The shops were crowded, and so were the pavements. Some windows already had Christmas decorations in them. Marianne looked for a bookshop, and found one. It was much bigger than the one her father used to work in. She looked eagerly at the display. At the top of a pyramid of books was a familiar red cover –
Mein Kampf
by Adolf Hitler. The black swastika looked huge. It stared at her.
Suddenly Marianne began to run, pushing through the shoppers as if Hitler himself were after her. She did not stop until she had a pain in her side, and her lungs hurt. She leaned against some park railings to catch her breath. She must stop being so silly. Her father always talked about “freedom to choose.” Thiswas a free country, so bookshops could sell anything they wanted to. But why choose that book?
Marianne went inside the park. It didn’t look like a place to be afraid of. A river wound in curves through the green lawns. Fat ducks swam among reeds, or sheltered under overhanging trees. Unexpected fountains, small ornate bridges, and paving stones in intricate patterns surprised her. A small girl bowling a red hoop just avoided crashing into her. “Be careful,” called the girl’s mother. Marianne knew what the words meant from the woman’s gesture. She thought longingly of the times she’d groaned when Mutti told her to be careful. She’d give anything to hear it now.
An old lady was feeding pigeons. She made room on the bench for Marianne to sit down, then carefully poured some bird seed from a paper bag into Marianne’s hand. A pigeon alighted on Marianne’s wrist. A small boy with a red kite ran
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