Reluctant Guardian Read Online Free PDF

killed themselves to help them out of a sticky situation?
    â€œSo, Alisa. Tell me. How are things?”
    â€œFine.” I plaster a fake smile on my face, determined to act my way through this little charade, but if he can really see inside me, he'll see a damaged, broken, miserable soul. I'm not really fine at all.
    â€œAny problems?”
    â€œNo.”
    â€œYou have an interest in becoming a guardian?” He reclines in the armchair, the curve of a smile barely lighting on his face. His green eyes focus on mine, and suddenly it feels like he can see my heart, my sins, my weakness, and especially my desperation.
    For a moment, I just sit there, my mind blank, yet I'm full of shame. “To be honest, I'm not even sure what a guardian is.”
    He nods in understanding. “It is a grave responsibility. You are given charge of a person on Earth and you're to help them through a very difficult situation. You are not told what their obstacle is beforehand. You must figure it out through inspiration and meditation. Then you must help them overcome the obstacle. If you succeed, you are allowed to pass on to Elysium. It is more difficult than it sounds.”
    It actually sounds really hard to me, but I'm willing to give it a try, because the thought of being stuck here for eternity is not an option.
    â€œI'd like to do it. I know I have a lot to make up for, and I want to help someone else so they don't make my same mistakes.” Since my funeral experience, I have realized with terrible clarity the gargantuan mistake I've made. I want to go back to Earth. I have to go back.
    With a sad, loving smile, he says, “We'll discuss it at our next board meeting and see what everyone thinks.” He squeezes my hand and the heat from his touch sears through me. All the guilt I've ever known feels dredged up and on display.
    My heart sinks, and I pull my hand away, not wanting him to discuss me with The Board. My heart sinks. Anaita is probably on that board and she certainly won't let me go. She'll probably relish the thought of torturing me in her class forever and ever.
    ***
    After my conversation with Raphael, time—which is hard to judge anyway—moves slower than ever before. The torture of waiting for the board's decision eats at me until I think I'll pull my hair out... which I can't really do.
    I am sure they'll say no.
    I go about my usual schedule, another class being next on the list. I amble along beside Shana as we make our way down the path. Cinder and Deedre follow behind. When we step into the classroom, I head for the back row. Shana always sits at the front, but she doesn't put up a fuss when I pass that row and keep going. I find a seat as far from the teacher as possible and slump down, hoping to become invisible.
    Anaita stands at the front like an avenging angel, light and power radiating from her very fingertips. During class, she locks eyes with me, and I pray she can't read my thoughts. I make every effort to keep my mind blank, which really isn't hard. There isn't anything of consequence in there. I'm lucky enough that she doesn't pick on me today. Small miracle.
    When class ends, I hurry to the door, determined to be free.
    I'm not fast enough.
    â€œAlisa, may I speak with you a moment?” Anaita's soft whisper makes me wince. I try not to show any feeling when I turn to face her, but dread spreads through me like slow moving tar as I see her eyes harden. I make my way back across the room to where her ivory desk rests under a wide, bright window. She leans against her desk, pink robes fanning out around her.
    â€œRaphael spoke to me about your desire to become a guardian. I think it's a little soon.” She doesn't smile, but cocks her head as though trying to figure me out. She'll have no success in that area. I can't even figure myself out.
    â€œWell,” I answer finally. “You're wrong.” I fight the urge to cover my lips, blocking the escape of any