Relatively Famous Read Online Free PDF

adjusted her absurdly large glasses so that the thick black frames encircled her eyes perfectly. One look at his agent told him that this retreat had been a combination Buddhist retreat/plastic surgery getaway; Renna’s eyebrows were undeniably higher than they’d been the last time he’d seen her.
    “How was your trip?” Mark asked.
    “Fantastic. Refreshing. Rejuvenating. Have you ever spent time in a hyperbaric chamber? Words can’t describe it.”
    “I’m sure they can’t.”
    “And you must try a sensory deprivation tank sometime. You float in a shallow water capsule , and with no distracting physical stimuli, your nervous system is deactivated and your mind is free to attain its peak state of relaxation. I’m very in touch with my inner self.”
    “I’ll look into having my nervous system deactivated,” Mark promised. “I didn’t know Buddhists were big fans of sensory deprivation. Or facelifts,” he added.
    “It was a holistic approach to wellness, smart ass.”
    “You do look well. Holistically speaking.”
    “Good. Now, I’ve been your agent from day one, Mark, correct?”
    Uh-oh . Mark could tell he was in trouble. Whenever Renna started confirming the length of time she’d been representing him, it meant she was about to deliver a tongue-lashing. “Yes, you have. And you’ve done a wonderful job.” He did his best to brace himself.
    “Eleanor! Get the lights!” Renna barked the order to her assistant , who materialized instantaneously and turned off the office lights. Renna hit a button on a remote control , and automatic shades smoothly closed over the window, sending the room into darkness. The glow of her laptop provided the only light.
    “Renna? What’s going on?” Mark sat up straight in his chair.
    “Take a look at this for a moment, will you?” His agent tapped a few keys on the computer , and the wall to Mark’s left lit up with his image. Great, another slide show . Renna liked visual demonstrations when she had a point to make. “Here you are at the L.A. Film Festival.” Renna zoomed in on Mark and then panned to the woman next to him in the photo. “And here is some nameless hot young thing on your arm.” Renna hit the keyboard. “And here you are at the MTV Awards with a different girl. Barely half your age, I should note. Aha! Now we see you and a bubbly blonde leaving a bar at three in the morning, and it’s obvious you two weren’t sipping tea all evening.” Renna pulled her goggle-like glasses down to the tip of her nose. “Oh, yes, my friend. There’s more.” She tapped her keyboard, sending a flurry of larger-than-life images of Mark and various scantily clad women onto the wall.
    Mark cleared his throat. “Um, Renna…so what? I’ve dated quite a bit. What’s the problem?”
    “Eleanor!” Renna screamed again, and the lights magically came on. Mark’s agent sighed, folded her hands, and leaned across her desk. “Clean yourself up, Mark. You want to know how you went from being Matt Damon to Jean Claude Van Damme? Those pictures are why. You’ve got a crummy public image. No reputable producer or director wants to cast you in a good movie while you’re known as Hollywood’s perpetual playboy. You know who’s getting the best roles these days? Family men. Stand up guys. No one likes a gigolo anymore, Mark.”
    He dropped his mouth open. “Gigolo? I’m hardly a gigolo!”
    Renna rolled her eyes. “You want me to play the Mark and Floozy montage again? I didn’t think so. This was all fine when you were twenty-five, but you’re not twenty-five anymore. Grow up. The way I see it, you have two options. Option one? Rehab. We’ll send you to Promises and claim some vague addiction. Maybe a sex addiction? That’s probably the only one we could sell to the public. You’ll get out and the fans will love you.”
    Mark’s face blanched—as much as was possible under his fake tan. “Promises? Like hell you’re sending me to rehab! For anything.