Red Lightning Read Online Free PDF

Libby. They need you. I’ll deal with this. I’ll figure something out . . .
    Get her some food, at least . . . a shower .
    I’ll call you. Let me see what’s going on here .
    Let her sleep . . .
    I’ll call you . . . A doctor?
    We’ll talk later today. Let’s just leave her here at the house for now. There’s nothing she can really do .
    We can’t leave her alone with Amber. Can you be here when she gets off the bus?
    I open my eyes to see Ed holding Libby’s head to his chest, his head bent so he can whisper in her ear, hers raised to whisper back, and if ever there was a position of love, that is it.
    I slap the gravel, hard, with my palm, to stop my inside voices: I want the vocalchord voice. I do not want them to see how bad off I am. “I’m not going to hurt or kidnap Amber,” I hear myself say. “If you could just let me rest.”
    â€œGo,” Ed says firmly to Libby. “I’ll work it out. I’ll call you.”
    I hear the truck door slam, the pebbles of the driveway crack and snap, the murmur of retreating tires. When she’s driven off, Ed gets on his hands and knees so that his head is right across from mine. I think that maybe he’ll reach out and touch my head and bless me, but he does not. He waits until I open my eyes and look at him. Stare, stare, blink. A good coupla minutes go by. Finally, he props a water bottlenext to my face. “Drink this. Do you or do you not need a doctor? Answer me now.”
    â€œI do not,” I say to the pebbles in front of my mouth. “I need sleep and food.”
    He nods, agreeing with me. “I am trying. To. Find. Lovingkindness.” Then, “Oh, Tess, you can’t—” Then, “Say something, anything, to help me find some warmth. I’m human, too, Tess. With my own limitations. I can see you’re suffering. But you’ve also caused so much of it . . .”
    I don’t move my head from the gravel, even when my ear and jaw hurt from the talking. “Ed. I’ve got a side to the story. And it is influenced, in part, by you. The good comes from you. I’m helping the immigrants start a new life. Right? Like you once did. You taught me.” The scrape on my cheek is opening up from the movement of my jaw, but still I don’t move. “So, Ed, for example, I always dropped off water and tennis shoes whenever I was in the middle of nowhere. Because, you know, you and Libby . . . last time I saw you, ten years ago, you said to . . . you know, act like a human because I was dealing with humans. They’re not just pollos , chickens who need to be crossed by the coyotes , they are individual lives, with loves and dreams and stories. You told me that once. I remembered.”
    He puts his hand gently on my skull, on my greasy matted hair. “Yes, Tess. And there are kind people, and there are dangerous people. You know that better than I. You’re dealing with people who kill. And you come here, to your own kid’s home? I’m worried because you’ve often been so naive. I need to know the status. Anyone pissed at you? Is anyone coming after you?” He pulls his hand away. “Sit up, Tess. Get up off the driveway.”
    Brainspeed, please. Find a multisplendored lie. The chunks of gravel in front of me are beautiful: blues and grays and whites. “I’m done. I brought no trouble. I’m really done.” I can hear the dream inmy voice, from the crazy place, from the fluid nature of being nearly gone. “But you know, Ed? I did something smart,” I singsong. “I remember lying to Lobo, he’s the coyoteprimero . I told him I was from Oklahoma, from a town called Normal, and that’s why I was so messed up—get it, that sad joke? And that was ten years ago, when I was first getting started. Slade might guess where I am, but that’s okay because he’s a good man, a little like you, actually,