RECKLESS - Part 4 (The RECKLESS Series) Read Online Free PDF Page B

getting myself into. I hadn’t planned for this thing with your brother, but I knew you were going to take time to heal, to figure out what you want. And I knew there was a huge risk that you’d realize that I’m not it. I may be crazy, but I’m not deluded. I know this could end very badly for me.”
    I wanted to tell him it wouldn’t.
    I wanted to tell him that I loved him.
    But no matter how hard I tried, the words just wouldn’t come, they wouldn’t push themselves past my lips. Instead, they bounced around in my aching heart and ripped me to shreds, told me that I never should have agreed to this because I was only going to hurt him.
    I couldn’t be the girl he wanted or needed. I couldn’t be long-term rocker girlfriend material, even if I wanted to be. Sex behind the speakers might be fun for a while, but what about when it wasn’t? What about when I had my own career to worry about? And what about a family? He didn’t want one and I wasn’t sure either way.
    “Stop.” His eyes narrowed at me.
    “But—“
    “No buts, Andrea,” he said, interrupting whatever ridiculousness was about to come out of my mouth. “If you take anything positive away from this thing with Cole, let it be that life is short. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, let alone next week or next year. This—“ He brought his lips to mine, claimed them with force. When he pulled away, he almost looked angry. “This is all we have. Right here. Right now.”
    Damn it all if he wasn’t right. Damn it even more if that kiss hadn’t done something to me, made me feel something I hadn’t felt in days, since I’d first stepped on the plane—desire, want, need—and all of them so intense that I couldn’t think straight.
    “Whoa, whoa. Slow down there,” Jace said, untangling himself from the limbs practically tackling him, stripping him of all his clothes.
    My limbs.
    Limbs that had taken over, had pushed out every thought just so I could feel something. Limbs that made me ashamed at my forwardness. Limbs that curled into me as I realized just how out of control I’d been just milliseconds before.
    What was wrong with me?
    “Andrea, hey, hey.” Jace cupped my chin in his hands and held my gaze, kept my eyes on his warm brown pools. That only added to my internal anguish, the storm that had been let loose inside.
    Tears were streaming, hard and heavy down my face. Everything—the loss of my relationship with Sean, the critical condition of my brother, Jace at the waterfall, Jace there, with me, in my parent’s house, Becca, married to a guy she barely knew—it all came crashing down around me in that moment. And I couldn’t make any of it stop. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. The numbness that had plagued me since the call from my mother had subsided and given way to all the things that had been buried beneath it—pain, anger, grief.
    And it was all so overwhelming.
    “Alright, let’s go upstairs,” he said, standing and then bending down to pick me up. He carried me up the stairs and tucked me into my bed. He looked conflicted as he stood next to me, as if he wasn’t sure if he should stay or go.
    “Stay with me,” I pleaded, reaching out to grab a hold of his hand.
    That was all he needed, permission to climb in next to me. Once he was under the covers, he rolled onto his back and pulled me part of the way on top of him so that I could hear his heart beating beneath my ear. I drifted off to sleep like that, listening to the steadiness of his heart, thinking how the man it belonged to was just as strong, steady, and sure.
    I only hoped that never changed.

***
    It was light outside by the time I awoke. I remember thinking that it was the sunshine that had stirred me, the panic of suddenly realizing that I’d slept all night and, not once, had I checked in to see how my brother was doing. But there was something else, some other reason that I’d bolted straight up in bed. Some other reason that my heart was