Reason to Believe (White Lace) Read Online Free PDF

coupled with my frustrated memory of how easily I had caved to his demands, brought out a certain rage, and I yelled, “Don’t you fucking knock?” I slammed my laptop shut. “You can’t just watch me.”
    “You don’t have a door.”
    I let out a heavy breath, and sat up, pushing the laptop off my legs.
    He finally looked at me, and when our eyes locked, my entire body heated. I felt them everywhere; on my face, on my chest, and between my legs. They were always so intense. Always scrutinizing. Always drinking me in. Like he was trying to find my best angle or my greatest attribute, as if he was trying to figure out how to make me look good on camera.
    He sauntered over to the couch and I scrambled, tucking my legs under my body as he lowered on the opposite end. The casual way he carried himself was also something I was drawn to, because for the last four years I didn’t have the luxury of being casual. There was always something nagging at me, something that kept my mind and body in flight mode.
    “I couldn’t sleep.” His blond hair fell over one eye—and it was sexy as hell. “I was coming down for some water.”
    I closed my eyes and breathed him in, letting him fill my lungs, and for the first time in a long while, it felt like I’d taken a deep breath.
    “Why can’t you sleep?”
    He shrugged. “Just trying to figure out my life.”
    Aren’t we all?
    “Are you seriously knitting?” He leaned over, picking up the needles and the scarf I was attempting to make.
    “Yes.” I grabbed at them, trying not to unravel my work. “It’s calming. What’s your hobby? Finding a cure for STD’s?”
    I cringed. I hadn’t meant to be mean. Somehow he just brought it out of me.
    He laughed and settled deeper into the couch, one arm stretched across the back. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.
    “You probably need a lot of hobbies since you’re no longer screwing guys.” I heard him suck in a breath and his hand tensed on the arm of the couch. “I’m sorry.” He hung his head. “With you there’s no in-between. I’m either an asshole or I have no idea what to say.”
    Somehow that made me feel better, because I was definitely going to pretend that his response meant he was just as mixed up about our relationship, about this thing between us, as I was.
    But right now, all I could think about was the way Ben’s big hands had gripped my hips while he thrust inside me. How those blue eyes had locked on mine, taking me to a place I still hadn’t recovered from.
    I’d been on my own for years now, and it scared me how easily I had given in to his needs. It was even more scary how easily I had let him figure out mine and give me exactly what I’d wanted.
    I wasn’t sure I liked that woman. So I did the only thing I could think of to keep her locked away, especially when it came to Ben Lockwood. Jade was ever-present whenever he was near, the woman I wanted to be not even a blip on my radar.
    “So…” I leaned forward, letting my finger trail down his arm to his wrist. “Are you going back to bed, or do I need to lock myself in the bathroom to finish?”
    My answer was him bolting from the couch. But instead of leaving, he hovered in the doorway. Looking over his shoulder, but only giving me his profile, he said, “You do know you’re not going to be able to finish without thinking of me.” This time he turned his head all the way, and I saw his grin. “Download episode thirty-four. It’s the only one where you see my face.”
    Even from the doorway he’d recognized his scene. I groaned, smashing my head back to the pillow.
    Sex with Ben had been the best of my life, but if I was truly going to move forward and leave my escort days behind, I needed to stay far away from everything having to do with the sex industry.
    Ben Lockwood was my past.
    And he was going to stay there.

Chapter 4

Ben
    I felt like I was here under duress, but I had to admit that I was