RARE BEASTS Read Online Free PDF Page B

Our animals are exotic animals, and according to all the experts,
exotic
animals are
valuable
animals,” Ellen responded.
    “Besides, these animals are from our own personal collection,” she said, trying to drum up sympathy. “We hate to part with our treasures, but we must, now that our poor family has fallen on such hard times.”
    Mr. Matterhorn adjusted his sunglasses. “I’m sorry to hear you’re in financial trouble. I make it my business to avoid that type of problem. But dealings like these require some negotiation, young lady. You can’t expect us to hand over that kind of money for a
pet
! We just need something to keep our kids quiet. What do you say to—let me think for a moment— five dollars?”
    “Five dollars?” repeated Ellen. “I say five dollars is an awful lot less than fifteen hundred!”
    “All right, then. Ten.”
    Ellen shook her head and glared at Mr. Matterhorn.
    “You drive a hard bargain, miss, but you have to learn how to negotiate!” said the executive, beads of sweat forming on top of his hairless head. “You’ll never get
anywhere
in business if you don’t learn how to negotiate! Twelve dollars, and that’s my final offer!”
    Ellen faced the crowd, doing her best to seem taller than she was. “My brother and I are not here to negotiate, we’re here to sell. These are valuable, exotic animals! And if you won’t give us what they’re worth, then you should leave!”
    Mr. Matterhorn looked annoyed. “To be quite frank, there is no way we are going to pay you
that
kind of money for any of these little monsters. I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t sell a single one.
    “And this is an odd place for you to set up shop, isn’t it? The people passing through here are going to work! And people who work as hard we do, do it to
make
money, not
spend
it. Don’t forget the three rules of retail: Location! Location! Location!”
    “Isn’t that just one rule?” asked Edgar. “Repeated three times?”
    “That’s because it’s so important, young man!You’re lucky we’re here at all!” bellowed Mr. Matterhorn.
    Ellen grimaced. “Well, you just don’t realize what you’re missing. Imagine, walking away from these delightful animals!”
    Mr. Marvin Matterhorn’s mouth formed a hard line across his fleshy face. “Oh, we’ll come out on top of this deal—we always do. I’ll keep my eye out for you on our way home this evening. I’m sure you’ll have dropped your ridiculous prices by then!”
    “Ridiculous, indeed!” the chorus echoed.
    Mr. Matterhorn held his pose for several silent seconds as if to give Ellen one more chance to change her mind. Then with a loud “Humph!” he stomped back to his car.
    The other businesspeople followed, uttering a collective “Humph!” as they turned away from the Exotic Animal Emporium and marched to their cars. Doors slammed shut, seatbelts clicked, and the vehicles departed.
    Ellen glowered as she watched them disappear down Ricketts Road. Then she noticed Edgar standing there, smirking.
    “What are you smiling about, chowderhead?” she fumed. “You didn’t help me try to sell these things at all, and now we’ve lost all those customers!”
    “Oh, stop your whining!” Edgar retorted. “Those windbags don’t pay attention to their own kids, so I figured, why would they pay attention to me? While you were dealing with them, I put extra-strength glue on all their seatbelt buckles! They’ll be stuck in their cars all day long—so much for their important business deals.”
    Ellen tugged on a pigtail and said, “Business,
indeed
!”
Mr. Marvin Matterhorn
Looks at us with so much scorn
Cares not why his kid’s forlorn—
He’s such a selfish dad!
We know what it’s like to be
Abandoned to our roguery
Just wait until those kids come see
The pets they might have had!
     

17. Relocation
     
    Edgar pointed at the cars passing by them. “Everyone around here seems to be concentrating very hard on getting to where