like a basketbal on the court. A couple of teammates turned to Jason, awaiting his response. For a moment Jason regretted having gone to the GSA meeting. But didn’t he want to come out to the team? Dwayne had yanked the door wide open for him. Al Jason had to do was step out.
He hesitated. The words dangled from his tongue. But he refused to come out in reaction to Dwayne’s provocation.
“I went to the group,” Jason said, swal owing the knot in his throat, “’cause I wanted to.” The answer was true enough. Its force effectively terminated the discussion.
As Jason scanned his teammates’ faces, he knew the issue wasn’t over. With the exception of Dwayne, those in the locker room had been among the most cherished people in Jason’s life. They were like brothers to him—even more than brothers.
First among them was Corey, Jason’s best friend since freshman basketbal tryouts. He was like a big brother to Jason, knowing him better than anyone. On many a night, when Jason’s dad came after him in a drunken rage, Jason had fled to Corey’s. And in turn, when Corey’s own parents fought a bitter divorce, Jason was there, helping Corey get through it.
Then there was Odel , Jason’s roommate at sports camp sophomore year. During their second week, Odel had gotten news his grandma died. He cried uncontrol ably to Jason the entire night, apologizing between sobs. But Jason dismissed his apologies, staying up to console him.
There was Skip, who only three weeks ago had confided to Jason he’d accidental y gotten his girlfriend pregnant. “I don’t know what to do!” he told Jason. “What the hel should I do?”
Jason didn’t know either, so he just listened, hoping Skip would figure it out.
Andre was the heartbreaker of the group. His cologne fil ed the locker room at the end of each game. And his much-admired ability to win girls fil ed the rest of the team with awe. Jason remembered when he’d first courted Debra and asked Andre’s advice. How could he come out to him now?
There was “Comeback Kid” Wang, who after a knee injury, feared he’d never play again. But everyone, including Jason, took turns massaging and exercising with him, pleading with Coach to let him return to the team, til at last Coach accepted him back.
And there were others, each holding a special place in Jason’s life. He’d bonded with them, on the court and off—through back-slapping triumphs and somber defeats, memorable awards dinners and forgettable fast-food feasts; through birthdays getting tossed ful y clothed into the shower and pay-back times when someone else’s birthday came round; through the bus songs and diesel smel s and awkward moments awaking on one another’s shoulders; through winners’ hugs and worries about grades; through being praised by Coach, then chewed out, then praised some more.
These were Jason’s “boys,” like family to one another.
And yet, in the very midst of their closest friendship, erupted the pervasive fag jokes and constant innuendo. Even now, as Jason closed his locker, Odel reached into Andre’s shorts, snapping his jockstrap.
“Hey, honey. Gonna score another heart tonight?”
“Fag.” Andre burped, grabbing for Odel ’s crotch in return.
“Homo.” Odel laughed, pul ing away.
It was like this al the time—as if they were al afraid of getting too close, so they had to make fun of it.
“That’s enough,” Coach Cameron bel owed, cal ing the team together for the pregame meeting.
Jason let out a breath of relief, eager for the pending game—where the rules were clear and made sense.
With the basketbal season ending, Whitman ranked in the state’s top ten. As the team jogged out to the court, the packed gym cheered.
But the game got off to a bad start. Whitman turned over the bal twenty-four times in the first twenty minutes. By halftime the team trailed 29-48.
In the locker room Coach Cameron did his best to ral y them. “Come on, boys. Their team is
Leslie Charteris, David Case