Queen of Babble Read Online Free PDF

college. “Pleasedon’t mention this to my parents, Dr. Sprague.Please .”
    “I won’t. And I’m really sorry about this,” Dr. Sprague says. “I can’t imagine how it happened.”
    “I can,” I say miserably. “I should have gone to a small private college. In a huge state university, it’s so easy to get lost in the shuffle and turn out not to have actually graduated after all.”
    “But an education at a small private college would have cost you thousands of dollars, which you’d have to be worrying about paying back now,” Dr. Sprague says. “By attending the huge state university in which your father works, you got a superior education for absolutely nothing, and so now, instead of having to get a job right away, you can flit off to England to spend time with—what’s his name again?”
    “Andrew,” I say dejectedly.
    “Right. Andrew. Well.” Dr. Sprague shoulders her expensive leather purse. “I guess I’d better be going now. I just wanted to drop by to give you the news. If it’s any comfort to you, Lizzie, I’m sure your thesis is going to be justgreat .”
    “I don’t even know what to write iton, ” I wail.
    “A brief history of fashion will suffice,” Dr. Sprague says. “To show you learned something while you were here. And,” she adds brightly, “you can even do some research while you’re in England.”
    “I could, couldn’t I?” I’m starting to feel a little better. The history of fashion? Ilove fashion. And Dr.
    Sprague is right—England would be the perfect place to research this. They have all sorts of museums there. And I could go to Jane Austen’s house! They might even have some of her clothes there! Clothes like they wore inPride and Prejudice on A&E! Iloved those clothes!
    God. This might even turn out to be fun.
    I have no idea whether Andrew is going to want to go to Jane Austen’s house. But why wouldn’t he?
    He’s British. And so is she. Naturally he’s going to be interested in his own country’s history.
    Yeah. Yeah, this is going to be great!
    “Thanks for coming by personally to deliver the news, Dr. Sprague,” I say, getting up and showing her to the door. “And thanks so much for the book light, too.”
    “Oh,” Dr. Sprague says, “don’t mention it. I shouldn’t say this, of course, but we’re going to miss you around the office. You always made such a splash whenever you’d show up there, in one of your, um”—I notice her gaze drop to the macaroni necklace and my paint-splashed dress—“unusualoutfits.”
    “Oh,” I say with a smile. “Well, thank you, Dr. Sprague. Any time you want me to find you an unusual outfit of your own, just stop by Vintage to Vavoom, you know, over in Kerrytown—”
    Just then my sister Sarah bursts into the living room, her anger over the tomato ratatouille incident apparently forgotten, since she’s laughing a little hysterically. She’s followed by her husband, Chuck, my other sister, Rose, her husband, Angelo, Maggie, our parents, the Rajghattas, various other party guests, Shari, and Chaz.

    “Here she is, here she is,” Sarah yells. She, I can tell right away, is drunker than ever. Sarah grabs my arm and starts dragging me toward the landing—the one we used to use as a stage, when we were little, for putting on little plays for our parents. Well, the one Rose and Sarah used to push ME onto, to put on little plays for our parents. And for them.
    “Come on, graduate,” Sarah says, having a little trouble with the word. “Sing! We all want you and Shari to sing your little song!”
    Only it comes out sounding like,Shing! We all want you and Shari to shing your liddle shong!
    “Uh,” I say, noticing that Rose has Shari in a grip about as tight as Sarah’s on me. “No.”
    “Oh, comeon, ” Rose cries. “We want to see our baby sister and her little fwiend do their song!” And she throws Shari hard against me, so that the two of us stumble and almost fall across the