Promise Me Read Online Free PDF Page B

cheated
. Then why was I punishing myself as well? Why did I feel guilty for keeping him away? They talked for another five minutes before I took the phone back.
    â€œWhere is the hotel?” I asked.
    â€œIt’s the Jolly Midas just off Seventy-second.”
    â€œAre you with
her
?”
    â€œHer?” He was silent for a moment. “Of course not. I told her that I love you and I never wanted to see her again.”
    â€œYou want an award for that?”
    â€œBeth, I made a big mistake. There’s no excuse for it. But most of all, I’m sorry that I hurt you. I know they’re just words, but I mean it. There’s no one in the world I care about more than you.”
    â€œExcept yourself,” I said.
    â€œYeah, well, a couple days ago I might have agreed with you. But I know that’s not true. Because right now I’m punishingmyself more than you could. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. I got what I deserve.”
    I sat quietly listening, my eyes filling with tears. “I’ve got to go,” I said.
    â€œLet me know what I can do to help. Anything. You don’t have to forgive me to let me help.”
    â€œI’ll think about it,” I said, then hung up before he could respond.
    I wiped my eyes. Charlotte was looking at me. “Why are you crying? Do you miss Daddy?”
    I looked at her for a moment. “I guess I do.”
    She put her hand on mine. “It’s okay, Mommy. He always comes home.”

    Everything in my life seemed in commotion—a dark and complex labyrinth that I not only didn’t know how to navigate; I didn’t even know where it led. That night I slept in a chair by Charlotte’s side. I suppose, on some level, my concern for Charlotte helped keep me sane, as it was easier to forget my pain by focusing on hers.
    The next morning around eleven, Dr. Reese came into the room. Charlotte was asleep, and I was sitting in a chair next to her reading
Good Housekeeping
magazine. The doctor motioned for me to step outside the room to talk.
    â€œMrs. Cardall, this morning we sat down as a diagnostic team and looked over all the test results. The bottom line is, we don’t really know what’s wrong with Charlotte. We don’tbelieve it’s parasites and we’ve cleared giardia infection as an option. What we know for certain is that her iron count is low, her growth seems to be stunted and that she is still losing weight.”
    My hope fell. “So what do we do?”
    â€œThere’s a possibility that she’s having some issues with her gallbladder, but before we send her to a gastroenterologist and make her go through even more tests, I’d like to start treating her for the iron deficiency and see if we can’t clear up some of these issues. So in the meantime, I’m going to prescribe an iron supplement and I recommend plenty of liquids to keep her hydrated. We also recommend that you feed her more red meat. The natural iron will help.”
    â€œWhat if she doesn’t get better?”
    He rubbed his neck. “Then check back with us in a couple weeks.”
    I helped Charlotte get dressed, then we went downstairs. On the way out I stopped at the hospital’s billing office to check out. I nearly drained my emergency checking account just paying my medical deductible. Then I carried Charlotte out to the car. I called Roxanne as soon as I got home.
    â€œWhat do you know?” she asked.
    â€œThat I’m a thousand dollars poorer and Charlotte has an iron deficiency but we don’t know why. Why can’t anyone figure out what’s going on?”
    â€œThose doctors,” she said angrily. “Don’t get me started. They prescribed arthritis medicine for Ray for six months before we figured out he only had gout. So what are you supposed to do?”
    â€œGive her more iron.”
    â€œWhat about school?”
    â€œI’m going to keep her