that is pushing it as Michael and I have not even been out on an
official date yet, so technically, how can
we be dating?
But a sweater? I mean, that is so unromantic. It is the kind of thing I would get my dad — if he wasn't so
in need of anger-management manuals, which is what I got for him for Christmas. I would get a sweater
for my stepdad for sure.
But my boyfriend?
I was kind of surprised Tina would suggest something so banal, as she is basically the resident romance
expert of our little group. But Tina says the rules about what to give boys are actually very strict. Her
mom told them to her. Tina's mom used to be a model and international jet-setter who once dated a
sultan, so I guess she would know. The rules for presents for guys, according to Mrs Hakim Baba, go:
Length of Time Going Out:
Appropriate Gift:
• 1-4 months
Sweater
• 5—8 months
Cologne
• 9-12 months
Cigarette lighter*
• 1 year +
Watch
*Mrs Hakim Baba says that for a non-smoker, an engraved pocket knife or brandy flask may be substituted.
But this is better at least than Grandmere's list of what is appropriate to give boyfriends, which she
presented to
me yesterday, as soon as I mentioned to her my horrible faux pas of missing Michael's birthday. Her list
goes:
Length of Time Going Out:
Appropriate Gift:
• 1—4 months
Candy
• 5-8 months
Book
• 9-12 months
Handkerchief
• 1 year +
Gloves
Handkerchiefs? Who gives handkerchiefs any more? Handkerchiefs are completely unhygienic!
And candy? For a guy????
But Grandmere says the same rules apply for girls as for boys. Michael is not allowed to give me anything
but candy
or possibly flowers for my birthday, either!
Overall, I think I prefer Mrs Hakim Baba's list.
Still, this whole dating/present-giving thing is so difficult! Everybody says something different. Like I
called my mom and
asked her what I should give Michael, and she said silk boxer shorts.
But I can't give MichaelUNDERWEAR!!!!!!!
I wish my mom would hurry up and have this baby already so she would stop acting so weird. She is
pretty much useless
to me in her current state of hormonal imbalance.
Out of desperation, I asked my dad what I should get Michael, and he said a pen, so Michael could
write to me while I am
in Genovia, instead of my calling him all the time and running up a huge phone bill.
Whatever, Dad. Like anyone writes with a pen any more.
And hello, I am only going to be in Genovia forChristmas and summers, as per our agreement drawn up
last September.
A pen. I am so sure. Am I the only person in my family with a modicum of romance in my bones?
Oops, gotta stop writing, Father Christoff is looking this way. But it is his own fault. I wouldn't write in
my journal during
mass if his sermons were even semi-inspiring. Or at least in English.
Monday, January 11, 1 a.m.,
Royal Genovian Bedchamber
I just got off the phone with Michael. I had to call him. It wasn't like I had a choice. I had to find out what
he wanted for his birthday. I mean, I have to get him Something. And it has to be something really good,
since I forgot. About his birthday,
and all.
Of course he says he doesn't want anything, that I am the only thing he needs (!!!!!!!!!!) and that he will
see me in eight
days, and that is the best present anyone could get him.
This seems to indicate that he might actually be in love with me, as opposed to only loving me as a friend.
I will, of course,
have to check with Tina to see what she thinks, but I would have to say that in this case, Signs Point to
Yes!!!!!!
But of course he is only saying that. That he doesn't want anything for his birthday, I mean, I have to get
him something. Something really good. Only what?
Anyway, I really did have a reason to call him. I didn't do it just because I wanted to hear the sound of
his voice, or anything.
I mean, I am not that far gone.
Oh, all right, maybe I am. How can I help it? I have only been in
Elizabeth Amelia Barrington